It has been a long time since my last blog post. Almost 2 months… In that 2 months, a lot has happened. I tend to have a lot going on in my life but this was something more.
Almost exactly one month after my last blog, my Stepmom June passed away. It happened so damn fast. I can’t believe it. I was asked to write her obituary and eulogy before she died, and that was just so hard to fathom at the time. How could I start writing about someone who was still alive? But I wanted to write it and was hoping to be able to read it to her before she died. But I didn’t really get the opportunity. Around the time of my last blog, I planned a trip down to Lethbridge with Neil. I wanted to introduce them. I wanted her to meet him. about a week after I decided to plan my trip down, we found out that June really wasn’t doing well. She wasn’t eating and they started looking into palliative care. A week after that, we had our BBQ and my dad and June were supposed to come to Calgary to see Thomas the Train with Debbie and Michael. June wasn’t well enough to make it so dad came up alone. That weekend, while my dad was in Calgary, June was admitted to palliative care. We couldn’t believe how quickly things were progressing :( Our planned trip to Lethbridge was the following weekend but by Wednesday of that week, June was already so drugged up and out of it that she wasn’t talking and she wasn’t on IV. The night before I went to Lethbridge, I had a dream about June. She walked into a room and she looked fantastic! She was healthy, happy and she smiled at me. She was telling me she was ok. Her hair was short and in a style I hadn’t seen before. I thought that dream was so peaceful.
By the time Neil and I got down there on the weekend, she was completely unresponsive. I cried. I couldn’t believe how she looked. Her hair was identical to the style she had in my dream but she looked so skinny and weak. It was awful :( Neil and I stayed overnight and spent time with my dad. We stayed at the hospital as much as we could. They kept saying “just a few more days”.
Later the following week (Wednesday), Lauren and I went to Lethbridge to help my dad out a bit. We spent the night with June while my dad went home. We spent the entire time in Lethbridge in the hospital with June. There for her just in case she needed us. We went back to Calgary on Thursday night. Friday morning (very early), my dad called to let us know that June passed away that morning. What a huge relief that she is no longer suffering, but what a horrible thing to happen. She was only 69. One month from her 70th birthday. Then began prep for the funeral. Memorial Cards, the Obituary and the Eulogy. The worst week of my life thus far. I barely slept the whole time.. I couldn’t stop thinking about my dad and June. Thankfully, Debbie went to Lethbridge to keep my dad company.
So now that things have changed and life has shifted so dramatically, I find myself on the edge of a wormhole. Sort of fighting the current that is about to suck me in. I have so much I want to do, and so much I want to accomplish but not enough energy or motivation for it. Now that June is gone, my dad needs all sorts of help with garage sale, getting the house in order and generally just providing moral support. I am tired. I am in a funky and bad sleeping pattern and I need to get it ship shape!
So Neil and I have been together now for 11 1/2 weeks. It feels like longer only because we are so comfortable together. He is quite frankly perfect for me. We were made for each other and not to be too cliché, we are like hand in glove. I love him. Every bit of him. And at the risk of sounding really mushy and sending you all to puke, he is my soul mate. I really do love him with all of my heart. We have officially exchanged house keys too!!!
Anyway, it is bed time. This summer will be a busy one for sure. We are planning more things with my dad and will be helping him with garage sales etc..
Well I hope my next post is on more happy things because I call tell you that I foresee great and amazing things to come!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment