I have had a lot of good things happening in my life lately. I am dating an amazing man… I am healthier than I have been my entire life, and I am (in general) happy with my life.
But today, I received some news which really made me sad… made me realize that we can’t give up on the things that make us happy or take anything for granted because we really don’t get to control how everything goes.
My Stepmom June was in town today for another Cancer checkup and even though I don’t completely understand the details, the prognosis is not good. I haven’t been told of a timeframe but according to her and my dad, they are not going to treat the cancer any longer. They are going to ride it out, make her as comfortable as possible and just try to make the best of things.
Wow.. what a shock..
Even though I knew deep down that this was not going to be an easy battle, I had not let myself deal with the possibility that she would stop fighting it… I can’t say I blame her… For what the treatments were doing to her, I can see not wanting to continue… but in my own selfish way, I wish she would just to see if something else might work.
Ultimately it is her decision but it takes me to a darker place when I think about my own mortality and I cannot even begin to imagine what she is thinking about… how she is dealing with it.
I feel so lucky and blessed with one aspect of my life and then so saddened by another.. it seems like nothing is all positive all the time and that makes me really sad.
All in all I just want her to be happy and I want she and my dad to spend a ton of time together. I can only hope that they will make the absolute most of the next weeks/months/years?…
Anyway, I am off to my class and not feeling much like being happy and sociable so I wanted to vent to this blog a bit. I can’t say it made me feel any better, but I am sure it doesn’t hurt.
So if any of you reading this feel inclined, please send some positive thoughts/prayers in June’s direction.. I know she would really appreciate it!
Thanks!
1 comment:
you have my prayers and unending thoughts. I can only suggest that you capture June stories on video...her favorite Xmas memory, her memory of meeting you, her happiest story about your Dad. Get photos and capture every minute possible. Take her flowers, make her a scrapbook, play her favorite song. The end is unknown but time is a gift. Take advantage Honey.
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