Potential Career Change?? At the very least, a shift in perspective...

I had my class at Mount Royal last night. I am taking a variety of courses for the Professional Business Communications certificate. So far, I have completed one course, am in the middle of the second course and I start the third course tomorrow. The fourth of the series is starting in a week or so.

I am taking this certificate program for two reasons. Both professional and personal. I want to develop my professional skills and beef up my resume, but I also want to develop my personal skills and grow as an individual. As I move through this process though, I start to realize that I am much further ahead than I once thought and part of that discovery is because of my confidence level. Now that I have been in class rooms with other people, I can see how much more confident I am in the grand scheme of things compared to others, and how good I feel about myself.

I was talking to Neil and Lauren both last night about a potential career change. I wasn't thinking of quitting my current job or anything, but I realized after this last class that I really do love speaking to people about things that matter to me.. It is such a rush and a huge boost of adrenaline. I was thinking maybe doing some teaching myself one day or perhaps doing some motivational speaking... I think this is something I will have to explore and even though it likely won't result in an immediate career change, it will at the very least change my perspective.

This class I am in is called "Speaking with Confidence" and I am not sure if I have blogged about it before but I rated myself a 7 or 8 out of 10 on the confidence scale when the remainder of the class hovers around a 3. The instructor often relies on me to keep the class momentum up because he knows I am willing to go first on occasion etc.. and I usually have something interesting to offer. What he may not realize is that by not forcing the other people to come forward, he may not be giving them as much opportunity to learn.. who knows, I could be wrong but I try my best to not volunteer to go first etc.. because they all need to break out of their shells too!

Last night, I wasn't feeling up to going to class much less doing a speech so I kind of purposely didn't bother writing my 5 min speech I was supposed to.. oops! And when I sat down in class I immediately confessed my sins to the instructor who offered to call my higher being of choice for my forgiveness, and then promptly asked if I would be willing to do an impromptu speech.

So impromptu it was.. I feel more comfortable with that anyway.. so I gave him two choices of topics.. 1) How I lost nearly 1/2 of myself (we all know what thats about) and 2) Trusting your gut instincts.

He chose the latter and I did a speech on an incident I had where I learned that my gut instincts are very clearly defined and that I am glad I trust them. The story is pretty crazy and most my friends have heard it.. (if you haven't, I would be happy to share in person but I don't want to blog about it).

Anyway.. the speech was supposed to be 5 minutes long and at 4 1/2 mins, my instructor was supposed to give me a time warning. I needed this desperately to learn how to judge time etc..
So I got up and started telling my story and felt so incredibly alive up there in front of the group. And towards the end of my story, the instructor held up his hand as my 30 second warning... and I summed things up...

The speech went marvelously. People were enthralled and fascinated. I had all of their attention and I loved it!!! The only problem was... My instructor was so wrapped up in the speech, that he forgot to watch the clock and let me go for 8 minutes and 33 seconds!!!!! Now those of you who know me, know that I have a number thing.. 8's and 3's... and it gave me chills when he told me I went for 8:33!!!

Anyway.. he had nothing bad to say, no criticism and complimented me in his feedback.. so I had to tell him what I thought I needed to work on... I confessed that I feel like I need a better and clearer understanding of how long a second, minute, 5 mins etc.. is.. and that I think that once you can grasp the concept of time, you can really control it rather than be at its mercy. At that second, I saw his eyes widen and although I don't think I really told him anything he didn't already know, I think I enlightened him a little bit as to a new way of thinking about this class.

So now, next week I have another 5 min speech and this one is supposed to be researched, prepared and outlined.. crap lol.. I think I may have set my personal bar a little higher than I expected to.. everyone was telling me that they are looking forward to hearing what is next!

I have some topics on the top of my mind that I could present... I could talk about my surgery, I could talk about June or I could choose something I have always wanted to learn...

We'll have to see!

A heavy heart…

I have had a lot of good things happening in my life lately.  I am dating an amazing man… I am healthier than I have been my entire life, and I am (in general) happy with my life.

But today, I received some news which really made me sad… made me realize that we can’t give up on the things that make us happy or take anything for granted because we really don’t get to control how everything goes.

My Stepmom June was in town today for another Cancer checkup and even though I don’t completely understand the details, the prognosis is not good.  I haven’t been told of a timeframe but according to her and my dad, they are not going to treat the cancer any longer.  They are going to ride it out, make her as comfortable as possible and just try to make the best of things.

Wow.. what a shock..

Even though I knew deep down that this was not going to be an easy battle, I had not let myself deal with the possibility that she would stop fighting it… I can’t say I blame her… For what the treatments were doing to her, I can see not wanting to continue… but in my own selfish way, I wish she would just to see if something else might work.

Ultimately it is her decision but it takes me to a darker place when I think about my own mortality and I cannot even begin to imagine what she is thinking about… how she is dealing with it.

I feel so lucky and blessed with one aspect of my life and then so saddened by another.. it seems like nothing is all positive all the time and that makes me really sad.

All in all I just want her to be happy and I want she and my dad to spend a ton of time together.  I can only hope that they will make the absolute most of the next weeks/months/years?…

Anyway, I am off to my class and not feeling much like being happy and sociable so I wanted to vent to this blog a bit.  I can’t say it made me feel any better, but I am sure it doesn’t hurt.

So if any of you reading this feel inclined, please send some positive thoughts/prayers in June’s direction.. I know she would really appreciate it!

Thanks!

New and wonderful things…

I didn’t get around to blogging about my Toronto trip and I am not too upset about that.  The fact is, I have been busy!  Ok ok so I know that’s not new…  but this is different.  I am busy because I am dating this fantastic guy… someone I am feeling really lucky to know…  Someone I am feeling really lucky to be with!

In all honesty, I am terrified…  Terrified about how strongly I feel about this guy…  He makes me feel so fantastic and safe and comfortable and secure when I am around him… and that is the most terrifying feeling!! I feel that everything I have ever hoped for is coming true and it makes me wonder if that is really possible…?

For now, all I can do is let it happen, enjoy the ride and see where life takes me… and for the record, in writing… no matter what happens, I know I am following my instincts, following my heart and living my life in a way that makes me happy… and if that is a risk, I am willing to take it!

On a side note, I had the most fantastic Saturday… the most fantastic date! We drove out to Canmore together and went to the Iron Goat restaurant.  The sun was shining and it really couldn’t have been a more beautiful day.  The restaurant had great food and the view of the mountains was even better.  After lunch, we walked a bit in Canmore (a very little bit) but it was so nice just spending time together, browsing shops and having tea.  I think it was wonderful! My only regret from that day was that we only got a few photos… we took the long way home too which was nice (except for the dead horse on the side of the road).  Neil DJ’d the trip with his Ipod and I couldn’t have asked for a better day!

And with that, we’ll see where things go from here :)