I discovered today (as I was daydreaming about the things happening in my life right now) that it is about time I start writing down my private thoughts into a sort of diary or secret blog. It will be as intermittent as this blog is, but will be a place I can jot down all of those feelings and hopes and dreams that I want to send out into the universe but that I want to keep for myself… for now. Every girl needs a diary right? I feel like I am really fortunate lately and I have no issues sharing my life, but I figure some thoughts are mine alone but one day I will want to look back!!
Speaking of fortunes.. something interesting to report.. A week ago, Lauren and I had Chinese food for dinner. I got a fortune cookie and my fortune was.. “Watch for a new relationship to develop within the month.” Today, someone left a bowl full of fortune cookies in the kitchen at work so I grabbed a few and I had the same fortune!! :) Not that I live my life according to fortune cookies, but it is a fun coincidence.
Oooh I almost forgot to mention.. today at work, I won a limerick contest! Ok so I know I have been a poet for a long time, but it was cool because I actually didn’t expect to win! I don’t normally write limericks!! I won the U2 Singles CD, an Irish pub song & Jig CD and the movie “The Commitments”. Pretty cool!
I started a new class tonight. “Speaking with Confidence!” What an amazing class with a really fantastic instructor and group of students.
I learned today that I have this inner voice spewing negative crap on a regular basis. I often hear the voice and ignore it when I should be listening for it and getting rid of it! That voice has been responsible for every ounce of self consciousness I have ever felt!
I think what made me learn about this and “get it” so quickly, was seeing all these other people say they had crippling fear of speaking publicly and then not even noticing their nerves when they actually spoke. When I was speaking, I felt like my voice cracked, hands were shaking, face started to redden and I thought I was stammering.. but the feedback I got was telling me the opposite!
Now, I am far from a perfect public speaker but this really illustrates how we completely sabotage ourselves! Who says we can’t achieve all we dream about?? I learned that all an audience wants is what they came for.. so by letting our nerves get the best of us, we are only screwing things up for ourselves because not one person in the audience is thinking “oh this speaker sucks”, they are thinking “ok what’s this person have to say?”
Ok I know I am rambling!
Tomorrow, I have another looooooooong day ahead with another class but after this week my Wednesdays free up for a little while!
Also, on the subject of free time, I also managed to hand off all of my work for my second job/contract which won’t actually give me more free time, but will eliminate the guilt that was preventing me from taking advantage of and enjoying the free time I have!
Besides, I have some really good things on the horizon to potentially fill up my free time! :)
Ok that’s it for now ;)
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