I am sitting here at Higher Grounds in Kensington taking in a peppermint tea and a warm fireplace. I sit here alone waiting for Lauren just enjoying the atmosphere.
I just got an email update about my niece and I have to say that she truly amazes me. The more I hear about her ordeal and recovery, the more amazed I am!
Now on to the main reason for my blog...
So I sit here alone and ponder the world I am living in. Mainly the single world where now more than ever, focus is being placed on being single. So many songs on the radio about it and even worse than that, reality tv shows (and reality radio shows) try to hook people up with the idea that somehow amazingly, you can hook up two strangers and bada boom bada bing, they are in love and ready to be married.
I keep hearing all these radio ads about singles events for Valentines Day and it just bugs me. How are single women not supposed to feel the pressure of being single when they are surrounded by the constant reminder that they are alone?
I was told the other day that single people who are actually looking for love emit some sort of invisible beacon which repels the opposite sex as if they had the absolute worst body odor. It would explain a lot because I have been single for a long time and I have been "keeping an eye out" even if not actively looking for love and I am definitely not experiencing a mad rush of eligible suitors banging down my door. Quite frankly, as confident as I feel in myself and as happy my life is, I am seeing a terrible lack of attention from the opposite sex. Well that isn't entirely true. I seem to get a lot of attention from men "looking for sex" but not for anything with real meaning. Go figure.
I decided to join a dating site hoping that something had changed over the past year since I last attempted the online dating jungle.. sadly nothing has changed but I remain optimistic that my Mr. Right will come and take over for my potential Mr. Right Now. Yes, you see not only has my overall outlook on life changed, but so has my outlook on relationships. I am over being hung up on finding "The One".. life is too short and I am getting tired of being so "proper" in my mind set. So right now I will happily enjoy Mr. Right Now
One thing that doesn't help is that I am also surrounded by single women in my life. All looking for "the one".. All are my competition and all are my friends. Its hard to not feel competition even though we are all technically different and looking for someone different. Unfortunately we are all in the same boat.. we don't know who that perfect person is.. so we are all looking at a broad range of men which overlap with each others preferences. It sucks!
From my perspective, it seems like there are a million single women and not one single "eligible" man that is actually looking for a relationship VS. a fling.. My experience has found a ton of gay, married or otherwise taken men and not a lot else. I also seem to be getting plenty of attention from men well above my preferred age range.
Let me explain the age range thing because I don't want to alienate anyone because of age. As a matter of fact, I am not an ageist person.. but there is some truth to the fact that age and lifestyle tend to coincide.. I am 34 this year and I am hard pressed to find a man my age without a wife and kids.. or at the very least an engagement ring.. Likewise, all the men in their mid 40's (which is at the top end of my range) have had their kids, seen them through teen years and are seeing them move out of the house! I am still looking to have kids of my own! It is hard to imagine finding someone in that age range looking to have babies now after their kids have already moved out.. so then I wonder if having kids is really meant to be.. for me..
So this brings me back to this invisible vibe I apparently emit... So basically what they (the proverbial "they") are saying is that I don't have a hope in hell as long as I am single because I will always have an eye open for the possibility and thus will always emit this horrid beacon of desperation sending the opposite sex running and screaming? Oi. So perhaps having a "Mr. Right Now" will scramble that invisible beacon and open the force field for romance?
I would like to think that matters of the heart are a little less predictable than that, and perhaps there is still a chance that the right one is out there looking for me. I can just imagine him sitting in a coffee bar somewhere on the other side of the city.. pondering the exact same thing.. or maybe he is on the other side of this coffee bar.. somewhere on the other side of the fireplace...
I have faith that what is meant to be, will be and in the meanwhile.. I will have as much fun as humanly possible!
If I have learned anything from my niece Jessica's story.. is that life is way too short to settle for less than you deserve... and at the very least why not have a ton of fun while you’re waiting?
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