3 months and down another 25lbs! -211!!!!!

I can't believe 3 months has gone by since my last post. Wow life sure has taken over!

I can't believe how easy it is to get caught up in the amazing things I can do now and the amount of energy I have. I have been meaning to blog for weeks but aside from being really busy (more mentally busy than actually overburdened with tasks), I haven't been very motivated to sit on the computer long enough to blog.

I have had some great experiences. I am addicted to travelling now. I went to Montreal with Lauren and Alice in September and had a wonderful time! I fell in love with Montreal and can't wait to go back! I also went to Toronto for work just a couple of weeks ago. I didn't enjoy T.Dot. as much as I enjoyed Montreal but I would definitely go back.. plus I made a great friend there.. Renee.. and we went to Niagara Falls and saw a taping of 'The Hour' which was a lot of fun! I definitely made the best of the time I was there.

I haven't been enjoying work that much. Partly I think because I have been enjoying LIFE too much and I am starting to question whether I am doing the kind of work I really want to be doing. I need to spend more time thinking about that.

I have been thinking a lot about priorities lately. Starting to wonder what new traditions I can add to my life. My family has gotten away from tradition which really makes me sad at times so it is about time I start making my own traditions!

I've also come to the conclusion that I am ready for a big but positive change in my life. I have achieved all of my previous goals and dreams.. now it is time for new ones.. for a new chapter in my life. I feel like I am finally free of the burden of all those pounds and now I can really get out there and do what I was put on this earth to do!

I was seriously in denial before.. I had no idea that I was so unhappy with myself.. I guess it is easy to be so unclear when you're shrouded with not just the physical weight but everything else that comes with it. Even I didn't know exactly how much I was dealing with until I saw it start to fall away.. aside from the medical issues and actual physical limitations, the clothing, the perception of others and people looking right past me instead of at me.

I think one of the things that I enjoy the most right now is knowing that I can be anywhere and do anything and not have to wonder if I can"fit". Also, being out and about and never once praying for a parking spot close to my destination so that I don't have to walk too far. I know this is perceived as laziness but you need to understand that everyone has limitations and once you hit a certain weight, things don't work so well. I had major foot pain and knee pain. I dreaded walking 10 feet much less a whole block.. now, I am a walking machine.. ask Lauren and Alice how much stamina and energy I had in Montreal lol!

I want to keep in my mind a little bit of what I have been through as a reminder. It is so easy to forget how things were and start thinking the way other people would think of me.. "If she was more active she wouldn't be fat." "If she ate less, she would lose weight". These statements may be true in some cases but they weren't 100% true for me. It takes more than that and anyone saying things like that is ignorant to the reality of the situation. There are variables that come into play that no one could predict. Things you wouldn't recognize unless you had it happen to you. So for that reason, I never want to forget where I have been.

I have started to shift my perception and I see myself as a thinner and healthier person now, and I often forget what I used to look like, but I will never forget the way I used to feel. That's also why I got the tattoo.. as a reminder of where I started.. something about me that will never change, since so much in my life is changing and will change.

So a new chapter is about to begin in my life. Doors have opened up and a whole new world is before me. I have never before been so excited about the opportunities and possibilities I have ahead.. but you know what the weird thing is? All of these possibilities and opportunities were always there.. I just couldn't see past my weight. I allowed my weight to put limits on myself.

Its not like I am being handed opportunities. No one is approaching me with gifts and trips and experiences. No one has given me a free pass to anything. I am creating this for myself and I always could.. now of course it is easier.. I can fly comfortably and I know I can fit in any seat in almost any venue. I am now able to eat fairly normally too.. so all that makes it easier but I just realize now that my weight was one big fat excuse! I craved adventure back then. I ached to experience things.. but my weight kept me from it all. No, I kept me from it all.

I don't know what I am trying to get at exactly but basically my message is this.. if at any time, for any reason you or anyone else for that matter says you CAN'T do something, ask WHY, ask for PROOF. Because I am living proof that unless it involves the Time/Space continuum, you can do anything you want to do. You just have to be willing to alter what you want to do according to your challenges. Change your expectations of the experience to mold it to your life. Don't try to mold yourself into someone else's idea of that perfect experience. If you want to travel, DO IT.. but if you can't hike, don't hike.. We have 100% control of our lives and even though we have challenges and hurdles to overcome, we are capable. We were given pretty powerful brains and we definitely don't use them very efficiently. Be creative and get what you want out of life. And if somehow, somewhere along the road your life gets better in the process.. then that is the frosting on the metaphoric cake.

So to sum it all up.. life is good. Getting better every day. Looking forward to tomorrow and the day after that and so on and so on. Eventually looking forward to sharing my wonderful life with a wonderful guy but I know that will happen when it is meant to.. so for now, I will just keep doing what I am doing.

Thanks for sticking around and reading all this rambling :)

Pia