Going solo... and -152!!!

I weighed in on Tuesday and was unofficially 314 which puts me down 152 lbs but today I did a pre-Friday weigh-in and ended up at 315 which isn't as good but still not bad.

I am excited too because Lauren and I went shopping this week for hiking backpacks and day hiking shoes. We can't wait to get out there when the weather warms up!

As for the subject line going "solo", I am testing my voice out at choir tonight for a solo part at the beginning of the song "Frobisher Bay". Its a beautiful song. I just hope my voice is up to it. It would sound amazing to sing the first line solo and then have the rest of the choir join me.. I can't wait to try it out.

The Lavalife guy emailed me last Friday with an update that his computer was fried, my # was on there which is why he didn't call and he forgot my email address which was why he was sending the update to my hotmail address. Yeesh. He summed up the email with the line "for all I know you could have sent mail telling me to screw off by now, wouldn't blame ya!"

I just don't get it.. The whole thing baffles me. To give him the benefit of the doubt (yet again), I called him and left him a voicemail with my phone number.. no excuses right? Well, he never called and so I am finally done!

Yeah I know most people think I gave him too many chances and waited too long and let myself get too involved..

Well that's my personality.. I am passionate about my life and if I am excited about someone or something, I let myself jump in feet first.. it's an aspect of my personality I am happy with actually.. because when I do meet the man that is perfect for me, I want to give him my full attention, my full affection and I want to be fully connected.. present in the moment. And I think that's a good thing.

Then again I naturally want "him" (whoever he is) to reciprocate and give me the same quality of attention I give him but I think that will happen naturally when the right one comes along anyway.

Someone suggested to me recently that 1) I am TOO focused on finding a man and 2) That my assertive personality could come across as intimidating..

I have decided that for #1, I am not going to apologize or make excuses for wanting a relationship.. it's a natural part of life and I think it is about time that I get to enjoy that aspect of life which has eluded me for all too long (both by choice and by circumstance). I also decided that even if it is true that my assertiveness is intimidating, I want to find someone who matches me and that person just won't be intimidated by me.. or if he is, he will overcome it. Besides, how would changing my personality help matters? I want to find the man that will love me unconditionally.. I like the fact that I achieve the goals I set.

I like knowing what I want/like in life.

Anyway.. So I will be going it solo for a little while longer. I am fairly confident that I will find him". I just need to remain open to whatever/whoever life tosses in my direction.. *Just please let him be at least 1/2 an inch taller than me lol!*