Being me...

I had one of my acting classes today. Loved it. As usual. I think it will be a challenge but I am excited about what I am learning. I also enrolled in the next acting class which begins the week after this one ends!

I also started choir this week and I think that will be really challenging. I normally sing alone.. as an individual. Solo. And suddenly, I am standing alongside a lot of other women and we are singing songs to sheet music in harmony. I don't find that easy at all! But it will be fun to perform!

So acting and singing huh? What a shift my life has taken this year compared to last! I am loving it but I also feel very much like I am brand new all over again! You know, when you start a new job and suddenly you don't feel much like a guru anymore.. well, last fall I definitely felt like the guru of my life and now.. I feel new.. brand spanking new!

I think this is a good feeling though... when you spend your life where everything is so familiar and comfortable that you feel like you could live with your eyes closed, you don't learn and grow as much as you can.. Now that I am in learning mode where my comfort zone is waaaaaaaayy over there... I can grow as an individual. And forgive the pun but this time, I am growing spiritually, emotionally and mentally... not physicially.

I am definitely disappointed in the phone number situation.. I gave someone my phone number.. someone I was 100% sure was interested in me.. someone I have known casually for a while.. and he didn't call.

I don't know how many people will understand this, but I think the part of the situation which bothers me the most.. the thing that makes this much harder.. is that I trust my instincts and rely on them every day. I use them to manage my life. If my instincts about him were wrong, what does that mean? Does that mean I can't trust my instincts at all?

This hasn't put a dent in my self esteem or anything and I really look forward to speed dating.. at least just to see what it is all about.

A very wise friend made me see this whole situation for what it really is.. I overcame a fear, I learned something, I took a risk and I grew as a person and no amount of rejection can take that away from me.

I will go back to Cora's again. Soon. I love it there too much to not go.

So I am definitely fulfilling my goals for 2008. Not resolutions. No. They are goals. Only I know when they have been accomplished to my satisfaction. They aren't a list of specific tasks that are just waiting to be ignored, they are extentions of my own passion, the very essence of what drives me as an individual.

I am exhausted! Putting myself "out there" is tough work!