Food... a necessary evil.

I used to love food. Not for the act of eating or the way it made me feel, but for the social aspects it tends to pair well with.

Now, only a month and a bit out from surgery, I am beginning to think of food in a much different way. Not a good way. Not that old "Food as Fuel, Eat to Live" way but more like a "Get this crap outta my mouth!" way.

I swear a hundred dieticians just got goosebumps on their arms. Probably sensing that a fat girl out there somewhere just converted. Sorry folks, I never worshipped food like the stereotypes suggest I should have.

OK that was a bit harsh. A bit. But when you are limited to eating certain foods because everything else tastes off or the texture isn't appetizing or it hits my stomach like a rock, you start to become far more critical than you previously allowed yourself to be.

I love the idea of food now. I love the idea of cooking, but dread the point where I need to taste the dish to test seasoning. I love the idea of Barbeque (not just BBQ, BARBEQUE!). But even the old BBQ sauces I used to love taste terrible now.

Hunger pangs are frequent now. Painfully frequent. I used to get low blood sugar to signal hunger but now I just feel the grumbles of an empty stomach. Every hour and a half.

So with all that aside, I am pleased to have some progress to report. Although I can't determine an exact weight at the moment, I have lost a total of 28" cumulatively off my: Neck, upper arms, chest, waist, hips, thighs and calves. 8 inches from my hips alone.

So my plan of action is to focus on my vitamins, my protein, finding foods I am able to eat and watching the inches melt off!

Full steam ahead..

Today was a wonderful day. I was given a rare opportunity to spend some quality time with my sister Debbie, just the two of us.

We started the day at the salon. We both got a new hairdo and I think we both really needed that little reward.

Debbie and I also went to the office I was working at before surgery. I have made some fantastic relationships with people there and couldn't wait to see them again. I was also interested in knowing what was happening with my job and whether or not I would be brought back to work there.

Debbie was so sweet and patient while I was catching up with everyone. I appreciated that she just let me do my thing. We also had lunch together which was nice.

After picking Michael up at his grandparents place, I dropped them off at home and went shopping. I bought a juicer! I am SO excited about this!

Ok so it doesn't take much to get me excited but I am really excited about this!! I juiced apples and pears today. Amazing how yummy they were and this juicer is POW-ER-FUL! lol.

I think the most bizarre part of the day was being stalked and stared at by my cat Faith. She couldn't keep her eyes off my new hair and her nose was sniffing me like crazy.

Normal...

Each day I am back in the world of normal with my family, friends and kitties, I appreciate more and more what I have around me. Tonight I enjoyed a bit of time out in the back yard having a fire and enjoying the night air.

I went to the health food store today and bought all my vitamins and supplements. It's a little intimidating. I want to make sure I get the right dosages without breaking the bank and I want to make sure that I can actually stomach them. I guess I will see in the morning.

The one thing I still can't get to sink in is that I am losing the weight and aside from not taking my supplements, I can't screw this one up. People who think of other weight loss surgeries don't realize it, but this particular surgery is virtually fool proof as far as weight loss goes.

And now that my ultimate goal has been accomplished, I need to start making new goals and challenging myself in other ways. The weight loss will be happening still, as I go about my life and I will find new and interesting things to do along the way.

I have a bit of anxiety about a few things though..

Depression is common as the weight comes off... the rapid weight loss can do that..

Hair loss is also common.. although temporary, it happens..

and of course the clothes.. as I lose weight, I will be shrinking out of the clothes I own and I will use my sewing machine as much as possible but I can't do that forever.

So these things will sit there in the back of my mind as I figure out how to deal with them if and when they happen.. but all in all I think that things will be amazing and interesting and an adventure.

Time flies.. and so did I

I can't believe it has been so long since my last post. I am home already and while so much has happened in the past 8 days, I feel like I posted that last entry just yesterday.

I've been recovering really well so far and my teeth are nice now which makes me extremely happy. I finally accomplished a goal that I have been working on for 6 years and within the next two years, I will reach my goal weight and then finally accomplish a goal I have had since I can remember.

One of my favourite things about Brasil was the people. Not only the Brazillians but also the North Americans I met while down there. It is incredible how the support and encouragement you recieve from complete strangers can make them feel like a family away from home.

I had a lot of anxiety about the trip back. I thought about it every day and it was one of the first things on my mind when I woke up and the last thing on my mind when I went to bed. I hate flying and I know that now better than ever!

We spent the last week in Brasil finishing up some sightseeing but mostly shopping and getting all the souvenirs to bring home. Ana was amazing and I really enjoyed spending time with her learning about the city.

We had our laundry done before we left as well and even though it wasn't as nicely done as the previous place we used, it was nice to know we could go home and have clean clothes.

I also enjoyed spending some time with Tanya before I left and meeting her sister. Such a sweetie!

So the trip home was definitely stressful. We were dropped off at the airport very early and we quickly discovered that our plane was almost an hour late. We had a bite to eat in the food court (I managed to find a neutral grilled cheese type sandwich) and went to check in for the plane. Sitting behind security was a lot nicer than being in the main airport area.

I think we ended up waiting 3 hours or so but we finally boarded and took the trip to Sao Paulo. Although I didn't want to use the wheelchair service, after seeing the lineup at the American Airlines counter at GRU, I decided that the wheelchair would be a necessary move, so we went to the AA office and they quickly had a wheelchair and attendant there for me.

By using the wheelchair we bypassed the line and were able to check in very quickly. The wheelchair attendant also got us through security faster and took me all the way to the gate.
We decided to go to duty free where I ended up using all my Brazillian money (not realizing the food places only took Reais :/) Alecia was nice enough to do the running around and got us some water and crackers for the few Reais we had left.

At duty free we bought cigarettes and alcohol which we carried on the plane with us.

The flight to New York was long. Long and exhausting and although I managed to get some sleep in, I was annoyed by the food. I had booked a diabetic meal which would have been ideal but somehow at last minute it was changed to vegetarian which would not have worked for me. The only thing they could do was switch me to Kosher which was ok but left me with a lot of wasted food I couldn't eat. I ended up snacking on crackers the rest of the way. I was lucky though, the Kosher meal gave me an omelete for breakfast which was a lot more appropriate than the regular breakfast meal.

We got to JFK on time or even a little early and I took full advantage of the wheelchair. As a result, we got through immigration, customs and everything while being at the front of the line. We checked in with Air Canada and that was by far the worst customer service ever! That lady was not nice!

When we finally went through security to head to our gate, we ended up losing our alcohol we bought at duty free in Sao Paulo not realizing that even though it was still sealed, they wouldn't allow it. Alecia tried to get it checked but again the service at Air Canada sucked. They said the luggage was already on board. Ironic since we ended up with half of our luggage delayed for 2 days.

I have to say that spending as much time at JFK airport as I have makes me extremely happy and proud to be Canadian!

We made it to the gate with only 20 mins to spare before takeoff and although the plane ended up leaving New York late, we were relieved that we made the flight.

The flight from NYC to Calgary was what solidified the fact that I HATE to fly. The trip was only supposed to be 4 hours and a bit, but it felt longer than the 9 hour flight! The turbulence got so bad at one point that the plane dropped about a foot straight down and that was terrifying. A teenager in the back started screaming and people started to get that look in their eyes.. you know when someone looks to you with this fear of death searching for reassurance that today was not the day they were going to die. I wish I could say I didn't have that look myself. That turbulence was the worst I have ever experienced!

But we made it to Calgary only a little late. Aside from the lost luggage, the trip home was far better than the trip to Brazil and a relief for sure.

As much as I was worried my Laptop was lost forever, I am just thankful I made it home safe.

So this week I am relaxing, catching up with my kitties and getting back to normal life. I am learning about my new digestive system every time I eat and I have realized that my tastes have changed. I don't really enjoy eating anymore and almost get annoyed when the hunger starts to set in. I haven't gotten my vitamins yet so that is on my list of priorities but I certainly have a lot to do. I have money to get back from American Airlines, I have damaged luggage and I have some travel insurance to claim.

And then, I get to dig into my garden and do some weeding and get back to normal. I can't wait for the normal to finally settle in.

So thats it for now. I think I am caught up!

The day off...

It is Saturday and for most of us, a day of rest. Ana has the day off today as she does every week and so I will take this day as well to prepare for the Flea Market tomorrow and the Train tour on Monday.

I've been to the dentist twice now. One more appointment to go next week.. but we have been trying to take advantage of already being out and seeing the sights. We went to see the Opera House a couple of days ago after the dentist and I was so amazed at how beautiful it was. The design was incredible and the waterfall nearby made it so peaceful. It is tucked away in this vast city and as soon as you step onto the steel grate bridge, you step into a whole other place.

I have seen my share of beauty in my life and yet it seems like each time, things are more and more beautiful.

We've decided to skip the Botanical Gardens and hopefully see it in pictures others have taken. We have other things we want to accomplish while we're here and I want to make sure I am not over doing it with my incision. It has been redder than usual the past couple of days and I have woken up more sore.

I can feel I am losing weight. I can see it in my face and my hips are starting to feel out of joint somewhat.. I know that happens with weight loss sometimes. It is amazing though because before I got here, my feet hurt daily, my knees were sore constantly and then suddenly here they all stopped hurting. Amazing.

So we spent most of yesterday in the hotel. We waited for our laundry to be delivered and then at about 4pm we decided to go shopping.

It is kind of weird because there seems to be a little bit of posessiveness with Ana. We all love her and want her time and she manages to juggle us all but it is kind of funny.. you see that look you get when someone hears Ana is taking you out somewhere and then it is confirmed when she takes them the exact same place the next day ;)

We went to a Brasil souvenir store and I spent a lot of time and money getting souvenirs and gifts for everyone including myself and poor Ana was stuck outside waiting for us while we watched the cashier hand write each item on the receipt and gift wrap them and bubble wrap them. It was so time consuming and while the service was outstanding, we did make Ana late for picking up the next group. Well part of that was traffic too. Rush hour here is so dense and reminds me of the drive to work in the morning ;)

After the Brasil store we had Ana bring us to WalMart where we wanted to pick up some personal products and juice. She told us about a new shampoo/conditioner called Chocolate. It smelled so good we both bought 2 sets. I also picked up some Brasilian coffee and chocolate to bring home.

So it was a great afternoon and we didn't get back to the hotel until after 7. Alecia ran the purchases up to the room and I went and got us a table at the restaurant downstairs. I had 1/2 an Omelete. It was good but a bit dry. I wouldn't recommend that without some sort of sauce.

Tomorrow we are attending the Flea Market which is supposed to be HUGE and packed with people. I will be keeping a keen eye out for some unique things I can bring back and I will be taking as many pictures as I can! I hope the weather is good for us!

Although Alecia and I planned to go together just to two of us, I think everyone is going so I am sure we will end up seeing eachother there.

And tonight, I believe Catherine wants to go for BBQ and so that could end up being the plan. So even if I don't get to enjoy BBQ yet another time, I will probably go to watch and soak up the atmosphere.

Brasil..

I find myself frustrated mainly with myself and with Alecia. I know we could be appreciating things more. We could be enjoying ourselves more. Reaching out to the culture more.

Part of the reason I originally wanted to travel alone was because I know that I am a positive person and I can make the best of any situation and even though I had a miserable flight in (and misery loves company), being here would be different in a good way if I was alone.. I like to live within myself.. reflect and think... when I travel with someone else, I find my focus is always on that person first..

Don't take that the wrong way, I would never recommend anyone travel here for surgery alone if they could have a companion, I just think that someday I would like to take a trip by myself...
Today was a day of rest for me. I pretty much stayed in the hotel all day with the exception of lunch at the hotel restaurant, visiting with Gerald and Sandy before their flight out and a 5pm grocery shopping trip. After realizing that I forgot to buy fruit juice, we strolled up and down the block but didn't find any shops that had anything suitable.

Yesterday, however was a little more adventurous. Ana took me and Alecia to the dentist (Her cousin's clinic) to get my teeth whitened. Although the experience was fairly mild and Ana's cousin was sooo nice, it was really hard on my incision to be tilted so far back for so long. I am not looking forward to that part of the visit tomorrow.

So after the dentist, I asked Ana to take us to the TV/Radio Tower which has a 360 degree view of Curitiba. It only cost us $3 Reais (about $1.75 CDN) per person to take the elevator to the top. Ana rode for free because she was acting as a tour guide. She must be sick of all those places lol. She also showed us her house which is just around the corner from the tower.

While up in the tower, we were approached by a reporter and photographer who wanted to interview tourists about the sights of Curitiba. He asked us about the places we had been, where we were from, our professions, names and then had his photographer take a few photos. In the end it was exciting to be approached by a reporter but it was also cool that he worked for the Curitiba government and had the story with our picture on the front page of the website within a few hours! I didn't mention the surgery of course but the article ended up having our names, saying that we were sisters in Curitiba for 2 weeks on Vacation and that "We have seen more places we want to visit now that we have seen this view". He made up the quote and didn't have all the correct info but I'll forgive him since it was far more interesting than any answers we gave ;P

People here don't look as exotic as I expected. Don't take that wrong.. I expected to see a culture of people that were vastly different from the people I am surrounded by at home and in all honesty, we could blend in here as locals (minus the camera necklace & English tongue).

There is a difference, though deeper within the culture. The food, the family, habits, work ethic, environmental consciousness, the love for other people.. that one warms my heart..

As in any foreign place, you put your guard up.. and rightfully so, the native folk do as well.. to a degree. Who am I to come here and speak English and ask them to accommodate me. I am sure there are cultural rules broken here everyday by me and the other Canadians/Americans but not intentionally of course.

That wall of protection with the unknown though is transparent. I can see through it and watch them interract with their own kind and see the comfort, warmth, care & detail.. (unless we're talking about driving but that is another story).

I love to see them greet eachother confidently with bom dia (good morning) and other phrases that for some reason didn't make it into my phrase book. They finish every transaction, even the simplest of them with a hearty "Obrigado/Obrigada!" ("thank you") and for those that have closer interraction, a warm kiss on the cheek and gentle hug.

Those that have befriended me such as Vera, Dr. Marchesini, Dr. Georgio (aka Dr. Gorgeous) and even the dentist (Audrey) all treat me to the kiss on the cheek and hug. Makes me feel welcome and invited.. something I was definitely missing when I was in New York and something that I think we could do better to offer in Canada. Ok so we don't have to kiss/hug everyone, but greeting the people we interract with and genuinely thanking them afterwards is something we could all do more often.

I was also happy to see that even the poor and homeless here are working. Whether it be selling merchandise at traffic lights, collecting trash to recycle or hand crafting, they seem to want to work as much as they need to work - that could be a misled observation on my part but it is my true observation.

The housing here in contrast to what we have in Canada is drastically different as well which speaks directly to the culture they have here. The rich and poor living on the same level to a degree but then go home to either run down wooden shacks or mansion style homes with a pool and a well groomed dog. You can drive for 5 minutes and see housing for all class levels, unlike Calgary where we have our classes distinctly separated by community entranceway signs and the aroma of arrogance to accompany it.

I am not saying they don't have an elite housing area here, they do. They have posh condos downtown that are dream homes for most residents, gated communities and mansions that are tucked away in the hills but they come together with commonalities like the garbage collectors who walk the streets at night collecting the trash of all residents regardless of income. It's not slave labour either. It is an honest living which I think is wonderful.

Although I don't get to enjoy much of the food, it is evident as well that they take pride in the food they prepare and serve here. I haven't had the opportunity to compare a Chinese or Japanese restaurant here to what we have back home. I would be interested in seeing any similarities or differences. Perhaps next time... Plastics ;)

So I have blogged the night away and the day comes early tomorrow. dentists and all that..

Thanks for reading.