The next step...

Now that I am out of the hospital, I feel much more free, a lot healthier and a lot more normal.
Every day I feel better. I overdid it a bit yesterday so I am a little sore today but I am not taking any pain medication so it can't be that bad.

My first couple days back at the hotel have been really good. I haven't been having many problems, I have been joining Alecia and all the others for dinners (even though I just have a drink) but we also went grocery shopping yesterday so I now have some provisions in my room that I can eat.

My only big issues with the room were more around the actual room. The first room we were put in when we got back to the hotel was 401 I think.. and the shower didn't have a handheld feature which newly post op is really important for me. The second room we were put in was 103 and I couldn't even fit through the shower door!!! I eventually requested we move to 206 which I already knew from presurgery was a room I liked and a bathroom that was suitable.

You really do need to make sure to really know what you need and have it, especially when it comes to the bathroom! Newly postop is not the time to be suffering with less than you need.

Alecia wanted to see WalMart so that is where we ended up getting groceries. I was sore and had trouble standing for long periods of time so the taxi driver Ana helped me pick out the right foods and put them into the cart. She put them onto the conveyor and bagged them for me as well! She was so helpful and sweet.

Afterwards we were going to go to Angelinis which is another grocery store but since we managed to pick enough up at Walmart, I decided against it. Instead, Ana agreed to take Alecia and me on a taxi tour of some parts of the city (mainly the Italian section). We went to the cemetery where all the burials are above ground in crypts. We went through a beautiful park where we saw the Capivari which is a huge rodent (similar in appearance to a beaver but without the tail). They reminded me a bit of Loki (my cat) but they of course were muuuuch bigger. (about the size of a warthog?) They are protected so they can't be hunted or harmed.

After a bit more driving around, we came back to the hotel and Ana arranged for the groceries to be brought to the room on the luggage cart. Alecia quickly put them away and I had one of the best tasting fat free/sugar free chocolate puddings in the world!!!!!!!!!

So today is the 30th and I am 6 days post-op. I am eating mainly juices, pudding, yogurt, jello and broth.. but I also have 10 fresh eggs in the fridge... soon, I will be cracking an egg into my soup or soft boiling it :)

Thank goodness we have a stove in the room!

So today will be a day to stick around at the hotel. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow early and Vera will be here soon to check on me so today I will relax and recoup..

days 1 - 5

So we arrived in Curitiba safe and sound. The first night was hard for me. I felt completely overwhelmed and although Michelle (Kevin's wife) was there to greet me when we got to the hotel, it felt really lonely. We were tired but I had this incredible urge to move and go places.. but then I broke down and cried for a bit before taking a much needed rest. I slept on the couch too which was weird. I just wasn't feeling myself.

Afterwards, Dr. M arrived at the hotel and then I felt much better.. much calmer and a lot more confident that I was where I was supposed to be.. in life... not just the hotel.

The flight just messed me up!

Alecia and I grabbed a bite at the little restaurant in the hotel earlier that night. It felt so foreign.. our plates were weighed and it was the tail end of their lunch buffet so things weren't the best. It may also have been our taste buds.

When Dr. M showed up I asked about places to eat. He said most places close up on Sunday nights but that he would show us a place nearby called Leili's. But as we got to the lobby, we were greeted by Kevin and Michelle and Nicole and Karen and Evelyn. They were having an early day the next day so we all agreed to eat at the place right in the hotel. I am glad I did, I had the best filet mignon with rice and mushroom gravy!!! It was superb! And we had watermelon juice as well!

So that night we just went back to the hotel room and relaxed and planned out the next day. My appointment with Dr. M was at 10, so Durval met us at the hotel lobby for 9:45. We had enough time to grab our free breakfast and we were whisked off to Dr. M's office.

His office was nice! Sharp! Very high end. What you would expect from a private surgeon but not what you'd see at the dr's offices in Canada!


We sat down, talked about the surgery and then he gave me a quick exam in the little exam room connected to his office.

He explained everything and then we exchanged money. I was thankful to be able to save some cash by using visa for some of the fees!

Then from there, Durval escorted us out.. he has been so sweet but not overbearing at all!

We decided we wanted to see some of the shops so he called Ana for us and we went to the leather store and the stone store before Ana dropped us off for a few hours on Flower street.

We loved the leather and stone stores. So inexpensive!!!

We went into a costume/party supply store and I found a few treats to bring home. The owner was nice but his english was minimal but he managed to tell us to come back soon.

From there we were on the hunt for a lunch place and although the shops were plentiful, the places to eat were minimal so we ended up at an Arabian restaurant. We were so close to leaving there and this guy comes up and convinces us to give it a try. It was ok though because it was better than him escorting us to the basement to another restaurant I really didn't need to see ;)

So we finished browsing some touristy places and then went back to the spot that Ana had agreed to meet us at to wait. We didn't have a watch so we had to keep checking in the gift shops to see the time.

Ana took us back to the hospital where we waited for Kevin, Nicole and their families and Gerald of course.. Most of them had been on the rail tour that day and we arranged to meet them for my last supper.. Brazillian seafood.

Time goes by so strangely here. It gets dark so early and time goes by so slow!!! Or at least thats the way it has seemed so far.

I had to quit eating at 10pm and it was already after 8 so I was getting anxious.

SO we had fun at the restaurant although I have to say that I make better seafood!!! It was both service and buffet so that was fun.

So afterwards I went back to the hotel and tried to use the bank machines to take out money but the bank card wouldn't work. Luckilly Karen offered to spot me $60 Reais.

So that was it for me pre-op. The next morning, we were picked up and taken to the hospital.

We were shown to my room and ALecia and I had really nothing to do but sleep... so we did and then suddenly someone showed up, pointed to the gown, I threw it on and away I went to surgery.

The ride to surgery was odd.. noisy, bumpy... When we got into the pre-op room, Dr. M's Son (surgical assistant) was there to greet me. they explained the process of the epidural and the anaesthetic and as soon as they got the IV in, I was being sat up and the IV was being inserted.

So the next thing I remember them putting oxygen on me and I was out.. then suddenly I was waking up vomiting something or other and yelling Paaaaaaaaaaaain!

They recognized the word for pain and responded every time :P

So after a little while in recovery, they had me back in my room unwrapping my legs and oh man I felt like craaaaaaaaaaaap.

It has been 3 days since surgery and each 24 hour period I felt 10000% better and today for the first time I got to eat liquids which made me happy!!!


I think that brings me up to date.. and now I will sit back and enjoy a cup of tea!

And so it begins.. the journey that didn't want to end...

It is 4:30 PM

Alecia and I arrived in Curitiba at about 12:20pm on Sunday afternoon. At least 24 hours after our original arrival date.

We should have known things would get crazy when we ended up checking in early and had to rush to say good bye to everyone... and then of course the plane in Calgary had problems with air conditioning and then couldn't detach from the dock. They had to push our plane from the dock manually.

So take off and the plane trip from Calgary was fairly average.. we were late taking off and the flight felt like the full 4 hours, the plane offered drinks and food for purchase and the bathroom was ok.. bigger than I expected. The male flight attendant was really nice.

So we arrived in New York and although we were on the wrong side of the plane to see the city, we saw the ocean and some boats and the most beautiful sunset over the water.

We landed in JFK and we expected to have an oversize wheelchair for me since that is what I will require post-surgery and was advised it would be best for on the way there too... well the wheel chair attendant wasn't all that nice, he smelled and he only took us about 1/4 of the way (to the sky train thing) and then said buh bye and left us there. I was pretty ticked off. Then we had to go check in at American Airlines and go through customs/security. We thought we had very little time to get things from Duty free before taking off so we rushed through it until we discovered our flight out would be late. By now I was hurting but ok.. my carry-on stuff was far too heavy.

So while we were waiting, Alecia and I had some soft pretzels and pretzel dog and I ate a filet of fish.. I was STARVING!!! (they were really the only places open)

So our flight finally left New York at around midnight (2 1/2 hours late). The seats I had were ok but not as roomy as I hoped. Luckily with 2 seats it was more comfortable. They tried to give my seat away but I just had to say that I paid for it.

So about 1 1/2 hours into the flight to Sao Paulo, the flight was turned around to take us back to New York. There was a radar outage in Brazil... We landed back at JFK at about 3:40am. They took forever to get us off the plane. It was so uncomfortable!

So when we landed in New York, we had to go into the airport through customs and fill out declaration forms, we waited in a long line and then got our passports stamped "Homeland Security approved", we were finger printed and we had our photo taken.

After that, we had to go from Terminal 4 back to terminal 9 using the sky train. (No wheelchair at all this time). Anyone that is carrying as much extra weight as I am knows how hard all that walkin was...

So when we got to terminal 9, we had to go through security again and take off shoes/coats etc.. I kept setting off the alarm because my arms touched either side of the sensor.

So we went back through duty free, and by the time we made it to the gate we were departing from, American Airlines was handing out meal vouchers. It was already 6:30am and the plane was now scheduled for 9:30 or so in the morning.. I also asked them for a confirmation on our connecting flight to Curitiba and they couldn't/wouldn't do it.

So we took our vouchers to McDOnalds. (the only place other than pretzel dog in that part of the airport)

So after eating, I bought an internet connection and managed to get online and alert people to tell Dr.M I would be late. He got my email too but hey more is better than not enough.

So we finally departed JFK and we were so tired that we (and all the other passengers) fell asleep almost the miniute they sat down. It was insane.

I slept most of the trip. Ate, watched a movie (Disturbia) and pondered the connecting flight. The flight was long, my legs hated it and I was so ready for a hot shower.

We got off the plane and the airport was humid and the city of Sao Paulo was HUGE!!! After a bit of confusion, we found out we had to go to the American Airlines office. (so lucky we didn't have to stand with the 1100 people in line)

American Airlines gave us vouchers for hotel, taxi and new airline tickets. We went to the hotel by taxi which was a good long trip through the city. We had the opportunity for a hot shower and a meal and a bed to sleep in. I wasn't much about sleeping though.. I was wrapped up in the trip...

Unfortunately the tickets American Airlines arranged for us could not be honored by the airline (Varig Brasil) and so I had to re-buy the flight from Sao Paulo to Curitiba.

The Cognohas airport was interesting and a lot nicer than the other one. Security was light and aside from a quick trip through a metal detector, it was so nice to not be hassled.

Although our gate was changed and flight was delayed by about 30 mins we safely flew to Curitiba and it was bizarre being on a plane and not understanding the safety instructions.. it was cool though because they served a hot snack and it was only a 55 min flight.. I tell ya I needed something warm!

Gilberto and his father-in-law came to pick us up. We went straight to the hotel and I was able to speak to Dr. M while I was waiting for the luggage to be loaded into the van.

It is hella cold here!!!!!

Anyways... that was the trip here.. I am not 100% caught up but I will work on that later..

Tomorrow... tomorrow... the rest of my life begins... tomorrow.. it's only a day away...

Well, tomorrow I leave for Brazil. I am all packed and ready to go. I have received so much support and encouragement from my friends, family, coworkers and even strangers.. I feel so lucky... so blessed!

Alecia and I will be flying out of Calgary at 12:20pm. I plan on sleeping on the plane if I can. I packed until 2am last night and tonight I will spend part of the evening having dinner at Debbie's place.

This trip is a big deal for me. I know people are doing this all the time now... I mean I will be meeting a bunch of people who will also be in Brazil at the same time getting the surgery. But this, for me is HUGE. I have made a lot of goals in my life and this one was always at the top... Well not exactly.. losing weight was always at the top.. and this is just a tool I will use to reach that goal. I know it won't be a perfectly smooth ride.. but I can handle it.. I keep telling myself that ;P

And so when I hug my friends and family good-bye at the airport tomorrow, I will also be saying good-bye to the old me... good-bye to the problems, good-bye to the old lifestyle, good-bye to the limitations... And then when I step off the plane back in Calgary on August 12th, I will be walking into my new and improved life.

I can't wait!

Life and Death

I find myself thinking about death a lot lately... For various reasons...

We are surrounded by violence, war, children wielding guns and people murdering their spouses and children and parents. People my age. People older. People younger.

It is sad, scary, confusing, ridiculous, disturbing...

I chose to take a risk. Travelling 10,000 kms by plane and undergoing a major operation (each with their own unique set of potential complications) all for my life. To reclaim my freedom from the limits my body has placed on me and to have the opportunity to really live my life as it deserves to be lived.

I trust my instincts and in this case, my instincts are telling me that everything will be just fine with the surgery (or I wouldn't be going). The plane ride on the other hand is much more intimidating.. Occasionally, there is this gnawing in the back of my mind wondering if this is it for me and maybe I am not sensing disaster because I am subconsciously at peace with dying... ugh... I think that is just my way of preparing for the worst... but can someone really prepare?

And so on the day I had my WILL finalized, I hear that a TAM plane has crashed in Sao Paulo (one of the cities I fly into) killing 200 people. 200 people. 2 days before I get on a plane heading for that same city.

This is what keeps me up at night.

I pray that my uneasiness about the flight was because I sensed that disaster and not another..

I don't want to be a statistic. Not for obesity, not for airplanes, not for surgery, not for anything. My fate still remains in my control somewhat and I do feel that everything will be fine. I choose for everything to be fine. I believe in positive thinking and I believe that what is meant to be, will be.

So how is it that someone can join the army in the middle of WWIII knowing full well that soldiers are dying all the time, running head on into the battle? Straight into the line of fire?? Are they crazy??

Am I?

I am not saving lives or fighting for people... but I am saving MY life and fighting for myself.

I guess I am my own hero in a way... but yet I don't feel all that heroic. Not just yet.

And so, with 2 days to go before I head to Brazil, I reflect on those 200 who died in Sao Paulo, their families, soldiers, innocent victims of domestic violence and the bazillion other people whose spirits have been evicted from their physical confines. And I pray that my journey, head first into the fight is as victorious as I expect it will be.

It will be fine.

People suck sometimes...

I went to the movies today. Pirates of the Caribbean and Harry Potter. Yes, 2 movies. No snacks, no pop just the movies...

So we watched Pirates.. uneventful but a great movie. The theatre had a seat with a moveable armrest so in all (aside from general crappy uncomfortable theatre seating) everything was fine.

Then we went to Harry Potter... that theatre didn't have moveable armrests so we sat in one of the upper seats. I crammed my big butt into 3 or 4 different seats until I found one that had a slightly different cup holder which made it more comfortable..

So I was sitting there while Lauren was in the washroom and the theatre was quickly filling up. Each family or couple that passed by glanced at me without looking me in the eye and searched for a spot to sit. Lauren and I had 4 seats next to us (aside from the one I was saving for her) and people were willing to go aisle by aisle, row by row searching and no one would even ask me if they could sit there... I was shocked!!! They wouldn't even look at my face much less in the eye!

So this guy and his two kids start up the aisle and he asks everyone about the empty seats by them, he even sits down at one point only to realize he was a seat short.. he walked by me at least 2 times and looked like he was ready to leave. Finally he looked over at me and I made eye contact with him and he started in my direction. Without looking at me again, he mumbled something about whether or not the seats were taken and before I answered he started piling his kids in.

Now I know that it is a complete and utter nuisance for someone as big as me to have the nerve to go to the theatre... but this was just pathetic. If it was just him, I might think he was just a jerk but it was every single person that walked by me. Each one. And we had good seats next to us! I realize it is less likely they are all jerks and more likely that society is still teaching people and teenagers and children that fat people don't deserve the same treatment and respect that people of smaller sizes get. I was going to say "average people" but in reality the new average body type in our society is overweight and possibly even considered obese (using the standard BMI calculators).

The worst part was, before Lauren got back, his kids were playing with my water bottle in our cup holder until I took it away and then they spent the whole movie asking questions and talking and the father checked his email every 5 mins. That bright cell phone light is a distraction... Lauren eventually told them to be quiet but by then it was too late...

People just make me so mad!

I know this will be a thing of the past once I have the surgery but you know what? I am still disappointed that in 2007 people are still ignorant when it comes to the way they act...

Not all people are this way and I tend to surround myself with people that respect me as I do them.. and if you are reading this, the generalization doesn't apply to you.. well I am sure you know what I mean!

Pia

So far..

It is amazing how many thoughts enter your mind while you are waiting to take a trip. Regardless of whether a surgeon is waiting for me or a hot cabana boy, the feeling is the same.

I have been on an international trip before.. to Germany and Denmark. I was about 20 and the trip was planned, paid for and organized by someone else. The only thing required of me at the time was to just show up.

Things sure have changed... this time I am the responsible adult. I am footing the bill and I am making the arrangements... and I am obsessing ;) I try not to.. but I can't help it!

Of course on top of all that there is the tiny matter of the surgery and the last 6 years of research and eductation that I have also prepared myself with.

I keep hearing from people how amazed and proud they are to see me take control of my health by going all the way to Brazil for surgery...

...And secretly I am thinking, "Shouldn't we ALL be taking control of our health, standing up for our care and putting our foot down when we don't get the care we require?"...

...of course you wonder in the back of your mind if they are really thinking..."She'd go all the way to Brazil but she can't get off her fat butt and jump on a treadmill?"

I am positive that the people that know me best, the ones I surround myself with daily don't think that way... but I know that people that don't know me are thinking something along those lines... this was proven over and over again when I would tell someone about surgery and they would ask if I had tried to eat right and exercise first.

I almost want to laugh. out loud. Right to their face. Do people really ever choose major invasive surgery as their FIRST option when others are available??? Really?!? Yeesh!

One of my biggest post-op fears I have is that I will get bitter about how I am treated after I lose the weight. I know from hearing other peoples experiences that you are treated VERY differently after weight loss, but I know deep down that will irritate me. I am working on that now... trying to understand the whole "book by its cover" thing... trying... it still pisses me off though...

Really though, I have spent so much time educating myself and hearing stories about the surgery and the complications and after care that I feel 100% ready to have this done. I don't have any expectations after surgery other than knowing I will do everything in my power to help it be as successful as it can be.

ok thats it for now... Thanks for reading!

1 Week to go...

I have created this blog to act as a journal of my experience in Brazil having the Duodenal Switch and to allow me to document my ups and downs as a result of this journey.

I can't guarantee I will post often or that it will be the most interesting thing you have ever read but I will definitely be as open and honest about my experience as I can be.

Thanks for checking in on me :) I'll keep in touch!