Christmas is over.. now for my favourite time of year...

2007 is winding up, Christmas is over for this year and the New Year is about to begin.

This is my all time favourite time of year. Christmas is over, so the pressures of the season have subsided, but the new year hasn't yet begun so my new goals or "resolutions" haven't been put in place yet. I guess you can say it is the time of year when I feel like I am free of holiday obligation... that is until Dec 31st. I don't generally believe in New Years Resolutions.. I think they set a person up for failure because they are usually really big goals in an unreasonable time frame or multiple goals that individually could be achievable but together seem impossible. They also almost always involve some form of weight loss plan which really should be a lifetime plan and not just a yearly thing... anyway...

Christmas this year brought me a gift that I was definitely not expecting. This gift actually made me nervous for a split second when I opened it. Thats probably why I love it so much. Finally, someone took my own words, believed my conviction and set in motion the actual reality of them. I received a gift certificate to get my first Tattoo! I say first because apparently tattoos are addictive.

I already know what I want for my first tattoo. The Aquarius symbol. I chose it because I am an Aquarius and that is one thing about me that will never change. I love my astrological symbol and it will always remind me of who I am deep down, where I came from and to always stay true to my core beliefs and values. My original plan for a tattoo was for a butterfly to symbolize my transformation with the weight loss but that will have to come after plastic surgery when everything is all trim and tight.

So anyway, 2008 should be a really exciting year for me. I have gone down 3 clothing sizes in the past 6 months, I am down 107 lbs right now and I begin some new and exciting activities in the new year. Acting and singing! I am also embarking on a new project for work which is a little bit intimidating because I am not completely sure what that will hold for me. I am also not sure it will benefit me careerwise.

2008 is also the year for me to get out there and date and meet someone special. That will definitely be a tough one for me. I am not good at the dating game so I need to hone some skills fast. I am hoping that making a goal to meet someone this coming year isn't too intimidating or a goal that is unattainable. I don't plan on going hunting, or settling for someone I wouldn't normally choose just to meet my goal, but I am a romantic deep down and hey, I think it's finally my turn! That sounds so dorky but what can I say? I'll keep my eyes and mind open for this one.. and I will take help anywhere I can get it.

Maybe this year will just be a "social year" for me. I'll aim to make new friends and see what happens..

-104, party life and Bluetooth?

Well, for starters I am now down 104 lbs.. continually getting smaller. It hit me last night.. I will NEVER be this big again. I will never gain this weight back. I will get to a normal size and stay there within 10 or so lbs forever... naturally it won't be a picnic the whole time.. I will have struggles and I will have challenges but I never have to worry about ballooning up to this size again! You have no idea how relieving that is...

We had our Jul party and introduced some friends to Danish traditions. It was a lot of fun and as usual we had good company. Our parties are developing a good reputation which makes us feel good. Of course it helps that we have great friends too!

Bluetooth... oh boy..

At the party I was showing people some of my cool ring tones that I got in Brazil. A couple of the guys wanted the ring tones so we decided to sync up through bluetooth.. I had no idea a cell phone connection could resemble dating so much.. too funny!

It was amusing because we tried so hard to sync up but had issues and weren't able... there were all sorts of innocent comments flying around that seemed so ironic to me.. "hmm are you sure you are sending out a signal?" "You need to allow me to connect to your device" "Can you see me on your list of possible connections? Did you search for me? I made myself available!" "Hmm, maybe our devices just aren't compatible"

We had a good laugh. The innuendo was amusing even though not intentional. Sadly, it seemed all too familiar... You find someone you want to make a connection with and either they are unable to connect for whatever reason, or they are incompatible...

I was talking to another single friend tonight about single life. Its weird talking about all this again. Going from being all independant not needing anyone to suddenly craving that connection. It was comforting talking to her about stuff but still like the blind leading the blind.

I need a few good ideas where I can meet these eligible guys.. no bars of course.. but where aside from speed dating do I meet a single 30 something guy? (This is where someone jumps in and offers me all sorts of ideas ;) Hint Hint...)

I am looking forward to January.. choir, acting class and my new project at work... I am just looking forward to 2008... to living my life finally, for once..

Danish is as Danish does

I felt compelled to write a quick blog today in the midst of a flurry of seasonal activities. Lauren and I are throwing a small dinner party today. We are having a Danish celebration with traditional Danish fare, history and a little peek into how we Danes celebrate Christmas.

I am so incredibly excited about this today.. I look forward to doing this again one day. Now that my mom has moved away, we have put a lot of our Danish traditions aside as they really do require people to share them with. But now that we do get to share, I am so excited.

But I have to say that today, I feel more Danish than I have ever felt before. I can't exactly put into words how it feels, but I can explain why I feel this way...

Today I went to the Danish Deli to buy the things we needed for dinner. And for the first time, I was without my Danish speaking mom. I ordered all the things I needed, in Danish. I ordered them all with their proper Danish names all pronounced properly.

I was also so excited that I remembered my favourite danish dessert Kransekage which is an almond paste cookie similar to Marzipan but lighter and less sweet. Danes make wedding cakes out of these cookes when they are baked into rings and stacked like an inverted cone or pine tree shape.

I bought some Danish flag decorations and lots of Danish goodies. I spent an hour weaving some traditional Danish hearts for my dinner guests and bought more paper today so that I can make more still.

Anyway, I wanted to share my joy with you. I feel like today, I have become one with my Danish heritage.

:) God Jul everyone!

100 and then some...

So I finally did it, and only a week longer than my original goal.. I am down more than 100 lbs! Today's official weigh-in was -102 (364lbs) but that part doesn't matter... I am down over 100 and I feel great!

Went to a Christmas party on Saturday... the day I hit -100. It was a lot of fun. Great Big Sea played a 2 hour concert for the party and the cocktail party style buffet dinner was really good. I enjoyed the food, dancing and of course seeing people I haven't seen in a while.

I am also really enjoying Facebook and being able to keep in touch with old friends and to be reminded of some really great memories.

I am almost done my Christmas shopping and the Costco/Ikea trip was a lot quicker and less painful than I anticipated.

Today at lunch I am going to return a book to a store and just hang out with Nancy while she does some shopping. I am so excited that I will one day be able to walk into any number of stores and find clothes that fit but for now, I live vicariously.

I also sent Michelle Schurman from Global TV my weight loss update just to keep her in the loop! I feel like a broken record telling people how much I have lost but then again, I will only experience this once so I might as well enjoy it right?

This week should be interesting. Busy and full of lunches with people I haven't seen in a while. Friday I am working from home or off and in the evening we have the Jul party which will introduce some of our friends to Danish traditions and food :)

Anyway... I will likely post more when something interesting happens this week.. something interesting is bound to happen!

Decisions, Sushi and a Japanese Lucky Cat...

I feel really lucky. I've had a lot of great things happen to me and I have so many wonderful people in my life. I've been lucky to have lunch with or spend time with friends. It is always nice to spend time with great people around the holiday season. It seems like time is so tight that having time with friends is much more special. Next week will be even better because I will get to see some friends I haven't seen in a while. People who haven't seen me since before surgery too!

This week .. well the whole month so far has been chaotic. I can't seem to get things done at work. Too many people busy with too many other things. Its frustrating because I know I am not always at the top of my game, I'm tired more often than I would like to admit and my focus is often scattered. I think I am most frustrated when I feel like I have A.D.D. I feel like everything I have to has to be done all at once and so nothing gets done. I need to relax, to sleep, to centre myself.

I extended my contract at work today. Should be for 6 months. On a new project which is both exciting and daunting. I am excited because it is something different but I am nervous about getting the opportunity to finsh the work I have already. I am working on 3 manuals and the first is taking so long (because of interruptions) that I don't know if they will all get done on time. PLUS now that I have agreed to extend my contract, I have been asked to begin splitting my focus to the new project virtually immediately. With Christmas, business paperwork(taxes), socializing and school work, my brain is numb!

So I don't really have anything to complain about and I am not complaining at all! I work at a company that does have a lot of opportunity even though they can't take me on full time yet. I work with some great people and many of my friends are close enough to where I work that we can meet for lunch or dinner.

Ok back to my day.. I went shopping today. I bought a couple Christmas gifts and 2 pairs of shoes. Nice shoes! Not running shoes! Shoes that require stockings instead of socks! That is exciting for me. I have hated being confined to runners and although the practical and rational part of me has insisted I get orthotics to fit my new stylin shoes, I am proud that I can look like a woman from the knees down too!

So after work, Lauren picked me up, we ran some errands and then went to Kinjo for sushi. Ok I have to emphasize how much I LOVE Kinjo! We sat at the sushi bar because the regular tables were full. I didn't mind because we weren't planning on staying long. We ordered the stuff we couldn't get off the floating boats (sashimi and raw oysters) and picked some items off the boats. Our server (I think the owner's son and oh so handsome...) took care of us... Gave us our free samples and the boxes of pocky that have become routine.

We finished up with what we planned but we've finally learned our lesson that if Peter Kinjo(the owner) is around, we have to leave a little extra room for whatever he gives us for free.. this time it was a tempura basket (2 shrimp and 3 vegetable). After finishing that, we got our bill and headed to the cashier.

While I was paying, Peter showed up and asked me how I was doing. I told him how great I feel and that I've lost 98 lbs. He was so happy for me. He walked over to his cabinet (where he keeps his special pocky treats - chocolate almond flavored etc..) and then stopped, said "hold on I have something special for you" and ran to the back.. When he came back he had a little ceramic kitty figurine. He put it on the counter and told me that when I lose 100lbs, to shake it and wish for whatever my heart desires to come true. He told me about how in Japan, cats in the house are lucky and bring wealth and luck to the home. The figurine is so cute and it really means a lot to me when people share their culture with me like that. I gave Peter 2 hugs and then we headed home.

So my day has been pretty good! Overall good. I need to relax and let my mind sort out what my priorities are but overall good.

On another topic, as I mentioned in my previous post, I am thinking more about dating and putting myself out there into the social scene more. With that said, I have also been seeking the advice from single and married men and women I know. I feel like I have no idea what the hell I am doing when it comes to dating and it seems like since it has been so long, I am putting too much emphasis on particular guys rather than just keeping things open. With that said, I am still not sure where/how I am supposed to meet these potential eligible men and how I am supposed to get them to notice me. Any advice is welcome as usual. I am enjoying being on the receiving end of advice for a change. I almost forgot how much harder it is to receive advice than it is to give.

I am still struggling with my body image. Nancy said it best... "Pia, you're not as big as you think you are". I remember looking at myself in the mirror at work and as if the mirror itself was liquid, my body shrunk right before my eyes. It was as if my own perception caught up with my weight loss finally. It was freaky but a huge blessing at the same time. I was able to finally admit that I really have no concept of my body and unless someone my exact size (height & weight) is in front of me, I may never understand how big I am. But then, does it matter at all??

So for now, I am going to do my best to keep doing my best. I will keep my options open with dating (I refuse to pay $80 for a speed dating session). I will get through Christmas, start acting and choir next year and let 2008 be the year I get out there and start living my life to the fullest. I've developed myself on the inside and now it is time to work on getting out there.. being the active person I have always wanted to be.

I hope you have a fantastic Christmas and New Year. I am not sure what I will be doing for New Years Eve this year but I know it will be something good. Even being at home with the kitties is good. I could use the break.

-97, dating & taxes

I can't believe I have gone a full week without blogging. I have had a lot on my mind but I think they are things that you just don't want to spill out onto a page not to mention the WWW.

I am down 97lbs now. 3 left until my goal of -100 by Dec 1st. Not much time left. I sure do like to keep things close to the wire don't I?

I feel fantastic. Tired at times and full of energy at others but overall fantastic. I bought a few new pieces of clothing. Its nice to have a bra that supports and fits my new figure.

It is nice to have pants that aren't falling off and it is nice to feel like I look sexy for a change.

On that note, I decided I am ready to re-enter the dating scene. I am currently smaller than I have been in the past 12 or 15 years and as if something just hit me over the head, I realized that I am ready to get out there again. I just hope the world is ready for me ;)

It is getting close to Christmas and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. My contract for my job is up for renewal and that is always nerve wracking. I am going to 3 major Christmas Parties (2 for companies I used to work for and 1 for the company I currently work for) neither of which I was invited to by the company itself.

I need to file my business taxes and that is stressing me out as well. I hate tax stuff. I wish someone would just take it all away and bring it back all figured out and filed.

I've started to realize I need to chill out and stop pushing myself so hard. I am going through huge changes with the weight loss and I am pushing to get and acheive new goals, find new hobbies, date, be social and overall just do everything I want to do. I need to chill out, slow down and enjoy being 32 for a few days. Then I will be 33 and I can restart my quest to better myself.

I would be much more excited about Christmas if things weren't so hectic (which I fully brought on myself) but I also secretly wish that I still had some Danish traditions as part of my celebrations. I miss it terribly. Lauren is planning a Jul party which should help me feel less like I am missing it, but it isn't the same!

I am looking forward to this weekend. As hectic as it will be, I will be going to a Guitar Hero/Singstar party Friday night which should be a blast, the ABSU Christmas party on Saturday with Debbie and then the Movin' Out Broadway Musical on Sunday. Holy I can't believe I am doing all that in one weekend! So much for chillin with the kitties. I miss them!

Anyway. I need to bite the bullet and work on my tax paperwork. *groan*

A full weekend!

Oh wow! What a weekend! Ok so granted I haven't been able to really sleep in or relax with the kitties this weekend.. but... What a weekend it was!

It all started on Friday when Lauren and I took in the 3D Imax Beowulf movie. Ok so the movie really kinda sucked compared to Beowulf and Grendel (starring Gerard Butler). But we were able to have a great slice of pizza from "pizza pizza" in the Scotiabank Theatre and it was an interesting experience seeing the movie in 3D.

Then, bright and early Saturday morning, Lauren and I picked up Nancy from her place and took her to Cora's for breakfast. It was an early start (7:30 am breakfast on a Saturday morning) but it was so great having breakfast with Lauren and Nancy and being able to celebrate Nancy's birthday with her. Cora's was also celebrating this week so they had balloons all over which was so appropriate. Lauren even won a travel mug during one of the hourly draws! The staff came and sang to Nancy and they presented her with a really pretty swan made from a skillfully cut apple.

Part of the experience at Cora's too, is the little Stockholm Syndrome-esque crush I have on one of the waiters there. I have been seeing him there once or twice a month for the last year and I think he's groovy lol! I definitely sense a bit of chemistry but we'll see what happens there!

After breakfast, we drove Nancy to Mount Royal College for her class and then went to a chiropractor appointment. We had planned on a lot of downtime between breakfast and the early 4pm dinner but we only got a quick clothing shopping trip in before having to head over to Debbie's place. I picked up a couple really hot shirts and a new bra that magically picks up my "girls" and puts them in the right place. Hot hot hot!

So dinner was fun, early (which suits me fine because I can eat any time as long as I have the time to eat!) . I met some new people which makes me happy, and I was able to spend some time with my family. I was preoccupied though and for that I feel bad. I had some things on my mind. I was a girl wearing a hot new blouse and my magic bra, and I felt like a million bucks!

So after dinner we all went to Deb's place for guitar hero/singstar/american idol games, and a few healthy snacks. For the first time, I sampled some pineapple and tomato salsa and I was impressed. I love tomatoes and I love pineapple so it was a big hit. I also got the recipe!
We watched some of the boys play guitar hero for a short while but then the girls kicked up a game of singstar and a couple of the guys joined us. It was so much fun!

Lets just say that Britney Spears, Yoda, Regis Philbin and Herbert (the 80 yr old pedophile from Family Guy) were all featured! I haven't laughed that much in hmm a looong time! We got home late.. after 1am..

So Sunday we planned brunch with Alice to celebrate her birthday which was the previous Thursday. We decided late Saturday night to move the brunch to noon, and so Debbie, Michael, Lauren, Alice and I were all enjoying a brunch buffet. The food was great and it is always nice to have a variety of anything you want to eat!

After brunch, Lauren and I ran home to relax for about an hour before heading out to dinner at Milestones and the Theatre. I changed into another sexy top and we headed downtown. Dinner was nice but kind of annoying. They accidentally rang in the wrong order for me and so I had to wait longer for my Grilled Seafood Salad. It is ironic too since I take the longest to eat!

So I finally got my meal, ate and after Alice had her amazing ganache dessert, we paid and headed to the theatre.

Some of the group ran ahead to get in line because tonight was the Director's Cut of the musical mystery play "The Mystery of Edwin Drood". At only $10 a head tonight (compared to the regular $31) it was a steal!

If anyone is curious, after having seen the play, I highly recommend it and would have gladly paid $31. It is at the Vergito Theatre at the base of the Calgary Tower.

It was an interractive play which allowed to audience to decide the final outcome! Well acted and even better, the performances were over and above any I have seen before.

So here I blog, at 12 am and I am beat tired but still whirling from a weekend of family, friends, fun, flirting, fantastic food, music and the theatre.

This weeked was AWESOME! I will never forget it!

Random thoughts

It is frustrating for a chronic communicator to not be able to get her point across. That is my never-ending struggle. Being misunderstood.

I could even go as far as to complain with the cliche, "That is the story of my life."

And so I wonder, how do I demonstrate who I am to someone I meet for the first time, effectively, efficiently and with enough flare that I am not a boring "whomever" but a dynamic individual?

Who am I. Good question.. damn good question.

Maybe the real me is just "awkward" and we (me and everyone else) are so used to it, that it is one of my traits that blends into my eternal landscape?

Who am I? I wonder what matters more? Who I am, or who I want to be.. after all we really can't change who we are to begin with but we always have control over who we become.. So maybe who I am is far less important than who I will become? Or am I just talking in circles?

Yeah, I do talk in circles. Honestly, I do.

So ok, I am a 32 year old woman who feels such a strong sense of self internally but can't seem to project that outward to evoke the desired reaction of interest and curiosity I desire so much.

I have a strong sexual presence which is slowly being released through my weight loss but is still kept under tight watch from the demons of self-consciousness.

I love to be creative. Period. Everything and anything.

I love my ability to perceive, my ability to inquire and my ability to feel.. to be empathic. I also love my ability to remain balanced which has seen me through some of the most turbulent times in my life.

Ok so apparently I love myself. lol. Yeah good start.. Kind of..

I made a list of one word descriptions of who I think I am.. I came up with a whole bunch of wonderful words that describe my achievements and skills.. I found some criticisms and poked fun at myself a little. I labeled myself appropriately and inappropriately.

But really.. Who am I? Who is Pia and what is she all about?? What is my most consistent attribute? I can't be the token fat girl for much longer so what is my identity really, without the pounds?

I am a lover of life. I feel alive yet I am so anxious to live life to the fullest. I feel like I really haven't started living yet..

I guess all this "who am I" stuff really breaks down to.. "How do I want to be perceived by others?".

I want to be respected, loved (both deeply and passionately) & looked up to (as a mentor and role model). I want to be thought of as interesting, smart, funny, clever, sexy, wise, spontaneous, random, consistent, grounded, flexible, optimistic.. did I mention attractive?

Then again... who doesn't?

So with all this reflection and confusion I am still left not quite knowing who I am... but I know who I used to be...

I had some pretty steep goals for myself. Within the past 7 years I set the following goals:

1) Find a good career
2) Quit smoking
3) lose weight
4) stop biting my nails
5) fall in love

#5 was an unfair goal to set. Even achieving it doesn't guarantee anything. It could be one sided which is why I ended up removing it from my list. #4 is still an ongoing struggle but I have had some pretty nails for a while..

#1 I found a great career. Technical Writing. I love it. I am employed in it full time as a contractor. (Goal Achieved but development ongoing)

#2 I quit smoking April 7, 2001. I did it for my health and for the health of my family. I did it because I decided that year to pursue weight loss surgery and I didn't want to be a hypocrite.(Goal Achieved)

#3 Well, July 24, 2007, I had weight loss surgery and now at 92 lbs down I have to say that goal is pretty well taken care of. I will lose the weight virtually automatically now. (Goal Achieved)

So this is why I am left wondering who I am. I'm not going to be the fat girl much longer. I have achieved all of my major goals.. Goals I honestly didn't think were achievable when I set them. So now I start over with new goals, creating a new chapter in my life novel. What goals do I set?

And without suffering from amnesia, I still wonder...

"Who am I?"

Your feedback is welcome and appreciated.

-92 and the results of the Audit...

So I audited the class on Saturday. I was definitely impressed with the instructor and the feedback he gave to all the students. I feel that I will learn a lot in the class. He was able to provide practical examples of the emotion or reaction he wanted to see. I learned something in the class on Saturday and I was just observing, not even participating! I decided not to do the full day (2 classes) though, I think I will just enroll in the 1 class because just being there the 4 hours as an observer was exhausting. I can't imagine participating and putting in the full 7 hours every Saturday.

Another update.. I weighed myself this morning and I came in at 374 which means I have lost 92lbs! Thats only 8 more to my goal of -100 by December 1.

My massage therapist was over yesterday. As she was massaging my back, she commented on how much fat is gone! I may not always see or feel it but I am thrilled to get the reinforcement from the people around me! Especially the people that don't see me all the time!

The Audit...

So... to jump start the acting class idea I have been granted a free class audit this weekend. I will be auditing an essentials of acting class. If I like the class and if it seems to fit, I will register in 2 Saturday classes starting in January.

I am so excited about getting back into acting and drama. Its amazing how much confidence you gain when you lose 88lbs!

I discovered that I have had a creative thirst that I have been unable to quench. I have tried writing, art, making jewelry, sewing, crocheting, painting, mosaics, interior decorating and crafting. So far, nothing has quenched my thirst. I joined the choir beginning in January as an attempt to quench the thirst but the small piece of the industry I had a taste of last weekend has made me realize that I also need to explore acting again. So in January, I will do both at the same time.

On a side note, one of the things that is most exciting about this journey is that I have a billion times more energy than I had 3 months ago and I am only 1/4 of the way into the weight loss. I can't even imagine things when I am at goal.. watch out world! Muahahahaha!

At 103 days... 378 and I am feeling great!

Well I have officially lost 88 lbs now and I am feeling really good. Aside from bad judgement eating some halloween candy that is...
I have had a lot of ups and downs this past few weeks. I have been moody and at times I don't know what truck driver posessed my mouth. I am also often tired but relative to the sleep I get, I would say that isn't a big issue.
I am excited about my life though. I dressed up in several different costumes for the various halloween events and I have to admit that I make a fairly hot pirate! ;)

I am also excited that yesterday, along with some friends and my sisters, I was on set as a background performer(extra) for the Mini-series Political Thriller "Burn Up".

The day was long and in my opinion more physically demanding than I anticipated but I LOVED it! I loved it so much that is has reignited a love for performing that I had as a child and teen. I never thought I would have the spark back but it has definitely come back! When I was about 8, I used to watch soap operas with my mom and we used to make up our own scripts and she would go through them with me. She wanted to teach me to cry on cue but I could never get that one! When I was a teen I was in a lip sync contest which taught me how much I loved performing. My mom and I wanted to write a song together and become the new "Judds" but that never came to be. Then when I moved to Calgary in Jr. High School, I joined a drama class and my love for the theatre began! I had to do an in character monologue where I had to have an accent. I did a flawless southern accent and it made such an impact that even though it was early on in the year, someone loved it enough to comment on it in my yearbook at the end of the year.

In high school, I continued the drama route and loved learning how to do theatre makeup. I loved the whole atmosphere of the theatre but when things went wonky with my academics and I left that school, I never went back to it. The years following leading up to now have been just getting my life back on track and getting stronger as a person.

Now that my life is changing after the surgery, I have discovered that I really do have the confidence and drive that it takes to be successful in a creative career like I have always wanted.

Being on the set of "Burn Up" was exhillarating. We arrived around 6:30 which was about 15 mins before our "call time". We got the forms we had to fill out for our registration and then we were able to get some hot breakfast and settle in. We found an empty table which was conveniently located near the ladies room! The breakfast made me happy because there was lots of protein rich items and even though there were bread items and some stuff I can't eat, I was able to fill up on bacon, eggs and fruit.

We hung out for a while, chatting and I did some Sudoku puzzles. Wardrobe came around and inspected the outfits we picked for shooting. For my first outfit I chose my black and grey peacoat with a green and grey striped scarf and grey gloves. I chose not to wear my hat because the weather was improving and for continuity, what you were wearing had to stay on until they said you could change. We were protesters in this shoot so we were supposed to look the part. There were some that looked like they had been protesting all their lives with the dreadlocks, bandanas and clothing to match, but I think we did pretty good. Afterall, people come in all shapes and sizes and protesters do too. I got complimented on the green and grey scarf too.
My second outfit was a light blue fall jacket with a blue homemade scarf. I didn't wear my hat for that one either. I changed my outfit 3 times, the 3rd time I put the black coat back on and that time, which was the evening shot, I wore my hat.

Our first call was at 8am. We were called in group B and although we were originally placed on the north side of the plaza, I was eventually moved to the west side as they needed to spread us out. As a matter of fact, Lauren was the only one who was kept in the original position at that point.

The day of shooting started with a variety of shots with us entering as if we were just arriving to the protest and then with us shouting and doing chants. We pretended to know the people next to us and then pretended to get excited with them and angry with them when we were instructed to do so. We ran after an imaginary limousine and raised our fists in protest. It was very different than my expectations in that I wasn't anticipating the number of times we had to repeat the same scene from different areas to give the illusion of thousands of people when in fact we were just 350.

It was chilly on the feet and we did a lot of standing. When we ran, we ran across the plaza, up the stairs on the other side and almost out to macleod trail. I took the foot high steps like they were nothing and I ran with the crowd as well as they did. I kept up!

The whole day was interesting and exciting and repetitive but fun. I was able to see a side of the movie industry I had only seen from afar before and even though some of it was similar to the shooting of the commercial for Ercole's restaurant I was in, it was a much larger scale.

The day went pretty much the same way as above until lunch. We had a break mid morning where they gave us sandwiches. I ate the turkey, bacon and cheese out of mine and tossed the roll. I grabbed a whole apple that was sitting in a basket. I don't know if they were for display or for consuming but I knew a piece of turkey, cheese and 2 slices of bacon wouldn't keep me going until the hot lunch was served. We went out for another "wedge" where we did the same thing over and over again, and then were brought in for a much desired hot lunch.

They served a variety of green, greek and coleslaw salads with rolls, rice, bean/pea medley and then our choice of ham or chicken. I chose ham. A great choice. I skipped the rice and roll.

I ate most of what I took. I gave Lauren some of my leftover ham and drank whatever juice they had. We didn't get a lot of time to relax and were asked to change before the next shot. This time, we were heading over to city hall to shoot in front of the municipal building. The shot involved running towards a police barricade fence and then shaking the fence as the "american" limousines drove by.

After doing that scene about 10 times in different ways (with a really short hot chocolate break in between), we went back to holding for another break which unfortunately only provided some chips and veggies for snack but I was fortunate enough to grab a banana! We hung out for like 20 mins and then were called back out for the last 2 "evening" shots. We heard them say they were ready for us to begin heading out so we decided to jump on it and head out right away. We were literally in the first 10 out the door so the second AD Brian counted us off in the first 15 and told us to see Patrice and tell her we were her 15. We didn't realize this immediately but much to our delight, we were going to be in the shot that included Neve Campbell and not in the distant background. I was placed in the shot and just a couple feet in front of me was Neve Campbell's marker. Debbie, Lauren and Alice were also placed in their seats and we waited for the shot. The two ladies I was seated with were terribly annoying as background performers. They kept watching Neve walk through the scene rather than pretending to be chatting. Ahh well, it all worked out and they got the shot in 1 take.

Neve didn't stick around long. She was flying out right away but she was nice enough to meet some people, sign an autograph and get her pic taken with one person. She smiled at me while we were waiting for the shot. That was nice. I didn't feel it was necessary to shake her hand or get an autograph.

After that shot, we were moved to the last evening shot which included a breakdancing polar bear. It was pretty hillarious! We laughed and cheered and clapped as random people joined in to dance with the polar bear. It was pretty cool!

As soon as that was done, they wrapped us and we went back to holding to pack up. I went to talk to the person that arranged for us being cast as background performers to thank her. I wanted to make sure she knew how much I enjoyed myself and how I would do it again! She was great and made sure to point out to us that there were hot spring rolls waiting for us outside that were supposed to be ready as soon as we wrapped. I got 2 and in my state of hunger, scarfed them down with a pack of plum sauce to dip in. I didn't care about the consequences at that point, knowing I would be heading straight home.

We got home after grabbing hot chocolate at Timmies and dropping Debbie and Alice at Deb's place. We arrived at about 9 but it felt like 3am. I was beat! I tried to sleep on the couch for a cat nap but ended up dragging my ass to bed at 11. I was in zombie mode!

After all that happened on Saturday my final evaulation of the whole day was that I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. Even if just a part time hobby, I want to get back into performing. I start in January with the choir but I have already begun looking for info about acting schools to see what I can start taking!

I woke up this morning a little sore but not as sore as I have been in the past and once I got out of bed I felt fine! Not a single ache which surprised me. I did a lot of running yesterday. More than I have done in a long time. I also did a lot of standing and stairs.

A few things I am pleased to share with you:

1) After yesterday and all I ate, I had no issues with how my body reacted to the food. I made healthy choices and was able to eat as everyone else did and had no issues.
2) I sat in a folding chair all the time I was in holding yesterday and didn't break it! I was sure it would collapse under me.
3) I sat in a foldup canvas chair (without arms) for one of the scenes and didn't have any issues. I didn't break it and it wasn't terrible!!!
4) I met a lot of wonderful people! I had fun chatting with the other background performers, getting tips/advice and just seeing what they had done in the past! I had fun flirting with the fake cop that had a nice "time piece" too! (Long story)
5) I enjoyed spending the day with Lauren, Debbie, Alice and Jennie.

I think thats all I can rattle on about tonight. I am beat and need to rest up for another busy week!

-81 at 94 days out...

I couldn't believe my eyes this morning. I have been annoyed with my 2 week plateau at 490 but this morning I weighed in at 485! I am now officially down 81lbs in just over 3 months (94 days).

Today is starting off really good and should get even better. I am going on a cemetery tour tonight and then karaoke after that. I can't wait! Plus, this weekend is our Spooktacular Spooktacular costume mandatory halloween party. Great way to finish off a stressful week!

On a side note, I have an unwritten goal of -100 (366lbs) by December 1st. Not sure if I will be able to keep up the 5lb/week pace because my body is fairly unpredictable but with only 19lbs to go to my goal of -100, I will have to lose almost 4 lbs/week for the next 5 weeks.

Anyway, time to work!

3 Month Surgiversary

Today, is my 3 month Surgiversary. It is also my second day going completely binder less.

As much as I like the freedom of not having to pull the binder up and the pinching under my arms, I definitely appreciate the support it gave and I am glad I used it for the full 3 months (less a day).

I am having some "issues" which I hate to admit are causing me some grief. I am getting tired faster now. I don't know if it is sleep related or weight loss related but no matter the cause, I need it to get better soon!

The tiredness issues are also causing issues with my energy at work and home. I have a ton of stuff to do but can't seem to get anything done. I am glad Lauren and I finished tidying up the backyard in preparation for winter though. That was a relief.

I am excited that in just over a week, I will get to be an extra in a TV mini series being filmed in Calgary. I am not sure of the details or what I will get to do but I think the experience will be fantastic. If I enjoy it, I might consider registering with an agency that handles extras. You never know.

I made the most delicious dish last night. I named it my Crustless deep dish pizza because I wanted to get the flavors in pizza without the bread. So I made it last night and I have to say that I think it was a complete success. It would also make an amazing pasta dish for carb lovers!

I have decided to let myself off the hook today for studying. I am so tired and having trouble staying focused. I have decided to let myself work on making some jewelry so that I can get rid of those crafty urges for a while and focus better on everything else that needs to be done. Sometimes I just have to say "screw the responsibility" and do something fun. I think it will allow my creativity to hit the reset button in my mind. I can spend my crafting time thinking about life and hopefully I will come up with some fantastic designs for both the jewelry and my future.

I had my blood work done last weekend and should get the results next Monday. I am interested in seeing what the totals come back as. Getting the blood work was a bit of a pain. The first time went almost perfectly except that the technician used the wrong tube for one of my tests and so I had to go back the next day to get another vial of blood drawn. Good Times.

Lauren and I are having a bit of a social weekend. We're going on a Cemetery Tour on Friday and Karaoke afterwards. On Saturday we are having a Halloween party (costume mandatory). We've got an extensive collection of costume stuff so it should be entertaining. We'll also watch a movie.

Speaking of movies, I received my Amazon.com order yesterday. I bought the Fantasy Island First season and the movie "Like Water for Chocolate". I loved the movie and figured my DVD collection of like 7 could use an 8th ;P

I think thats enough blah-gging for today.

Turtle girl...

I joined a choir the other day - She's Up2Something. It's an all girls choir Alice has been singing in.

I have been to some of their performances and deep down have always been a little envious since I love to sing. But this week, Alice opened the door and asked if any of us wanted to join. I was hessitant at first. It is her thing. But after an exuberant approval from Alice, I paid my membership fee and joined.

I also received my contact info for the casting person who is handling the "extras"role I won in the auction at work. I emailed her yesterday and hope she emails me soon. I know one of the projects begins filming this month.

I feel like I am coming out of my shell a little more each day. For any of you who really knows me, you know I am generally outgoing but deep down I have always had a limit on my willingness to put myself out there. In any way. I have always loved the spotlight but would never commit to it. I used to prefer standing just on the perimeter of the spotlight glow.
Not anymore! I am excited about my progress and it is making me excited about my life so much more than I was before.

I do hope I can have a really good experience as an extra either for a tv series or movie depending on what they need me for.

I know I will love the choir but really hope my voice holds up. I can carry a tune but only for so long...

I went grocery shopping a couple nights ago and am so happy with what I ended up buying. Lots of healthy fruits/vegetables and cheeses. I skipped all the junk that used to lure me and having no interest in breads or pasta really makes a difference in my food choices. It really helps me rule certain things out quickly. I know through experimentation that any of the prepackaged microwave foods are terrible tasting and my body rejects them. Even the precooked sausages I bought for breakfasts tasted terrible yesterday morning. I ended up hucking them out the car window on the way to work(sorry!). I am sure the magpies will finish them off for me. ;)

I am going to try and beat the bank again on Energy 101.5. I tried yesterday and the day before ... I was caller #8, #4, #2. On Monday, I got through but lost my chance at $650 when the bank busted! :(

Just proof that I will always have to earn the money I have. I just don't think I am destined to win money or have it given to me. I know deep down I need to earn what I have and in all honesty, that doesn't bother me one bit. I am proud to know I have earned what I have!

I wrote this and forgot to post it so its a few days out of date but here it is...

1 size down, 18 more to go...

Ok so I don't have a set size I want to be when I am done losing weight. I am not hung up on numbers or labels. I just want to be healthy, sexy and confident. Not much to ask for...

I went to Penningtons today. I tried on some clothes in different sizes to see where I am at. I have dropped 1 size. I have to admit that I am not so perfectly fitting into the new size that I could wear it today exclusively, but I can button up the tops and I can see the beginnings of my inner goddess!

I am discovering new and wonderful things about my body since losing 75 lbs. I won't get into the dirty details but I have to admit that I am happier every day with the changes I am experiencing.

I am getting my labs done tomorrow so I can see if these liquid vitamins are doing me any good.

I have started to think about my clothes that are too big now as well. If anyone has any ideas on how best to part with them, I am open to suggestions.

I have considered consignment, donation to the Mustard Seed, donations to other patients awaiting their weight loss surgery... the list goes on.. I just want to make the biggest impact and do the best with what I have. Even if it means padding my wallet for the clothes I will eventually need to buy...

I am going through this wave or phase thinking about getting back into dating, relationships and checking out the single guys I know. It's so frustrating because I know myself well enough to realize that I won't be putting myself out there anytime soon. I need more time to adjust to my new life. I am learning new things about myself every day.. hardly the best time to let someone in to get to know me. I am changing so much on the outside but I am also rewriting my lifestyle.. Lauren and I are planning a hiking trip next summer. Hiking. Not something I would have considered a year ago but something I am so looking forward to now.

Its amazing. I loved my life before surgery.. but I had no idea things could get even better...

Without tastebuds...

I'm sick... Just a cold but sick enough to be whiny and needy. Sick enough for my tastebuds to be off duty and definitely sick enough to keep Kleenex in business.

Since surgery, my tastebuds have been very hard working. Telling my brain to reject foods I used to like, telling my brain that foods I used to hate (i.e. chammomile tea) are good and of course giving me only one days notice between deciding whether or not to like something. What was ok yesterday may not be today...

So right now I can't taste much. If I am lucky (or unlucky) I can get the slightest hint of taste if I breathe in a certain way when I eat.. Today, I am lucky because since I am sick, I didn't feel up to the 30 min trip to the GOOD lunch place.. so I went to the place that is in business soley because they cater to those without taste buds. Yes, for those of you that know, I am talking about Marcellos.

If I am lazy, I will eat at Marcellos for lunch and I tell ya, I am disappointed every time. Their early morning fresh fruit salad is incredible and I highly recommend the fresh stuff, but their hot food is either prepared by a robot which was designed to bend metal, or they continually get customers without the ability to taste.

I went for a soup.. seafood chowder... they used to let me taste the soup before I ordered but lately they haven't and I can't taste right now anyway.. but I can definitely catch a huge whiff of fishy smell from the chowder that wouldn't even be appropriate from wet catfood.

I also got a salad luckily because even with limited smell, I can't bring myself to eat one more bite of soup.

Now that I am post-op my eyes are opened to the concept of eating only the BEST. Seriously, why subject yourself to eating something that isn't satisfying?

Why eat simply to eat?

Ok so there is something to the idea of eating for nourishment before eating for pleasure.

-After reading this back I realized that even now I still eat random things I can't stand because I have to eat, or because I have to get in the protein.. and with that in mind, I am realizing that I need to focus more on having the foods I love, not just those that I tolerate...

With the expanding rate of obesity in the world, people shouldn't be eating purely for pleasure.. but why can't we do both? Eat only the very best tasting and freshest food while still eating well? Ok ok so this isn't a new revelation but now that I eat so little, it is a concept I am much more comfortable embracing... I struggle with the amount of food my picky tastebuds are willing to waste though.

Here are my top foods I realized that I love but have taken for granted...

Tomatoes.. fresh, canned, stewed, sauced, grilled, roasted, sun dried, juiced...
Beef.. fresh, canned, stewed, sauced, grilled, roasted, sun dried, juiced... (:P)
Avocados
Raw salmon & other sushi
Fruit & Fruit Juice (specifically strawberries, cranberries, pineapple, grapefruit and apple)
Ham
Turkey
Good quality chocolate (sorry snickers, you're out! High quality dark and milk, you're in!)

I really don't much care for bread anymore and only eat it when it needs to be a vessel to carry something else into my mouth. If I had alternates to bread in a sandwich or for pizza crust I would be so thrilled. I can do without bread as a vessel for balsamic and olive oil.. I will save that for a salad.

I am still on the fence with chicken, pork, eggs, seafood, dairy, soup and spicy stuff. I like them one day and not the next.. I am not too worried about them though because I can keep trying. I definitely don't miss pasta though!

The reality of all of this is that Marcellos has reaquainted me with my taste buddies! No longer do I have to worry about ordering something I think my tastebuds will like and suffer the awkwardness after realizing I didn't know them that well afterall.. at least now we have an understanding that some things are a-ok and others are on probation. My tastebuds and I have an understanding! We're cool!

Now as soon as I am able to, I will reunite my tastebuds with my digestive system and all will be good! :P

393 - another 5 lbs gone forever!

I weighed myself last night and the scale still said 398. Ok so it was the end of the day but I didn't think I would lose 5 lbs overnight!

This morning I was pleasantly surprised by the scale twitching between 392 and 393.

As excited as I am about the weight loss, the reality of the necessity of the vitamins and protein really hits me hard. I am struggling remembering my calcium and I won't know if these supplements are even effective until I get my labs done. It hasn't quite been 3 months but I want to get them done just to be sure.

I am starving and haven't had breakfast or my vitamins yet so I am going to go do that!

Just wanted to share! 393! Whoa! Yes!

Good Things...

I sit here at almost 2am exhausted and groggy after falling asleep on the couch for a few hours. I managed to wake up, eat, take my vitamins and as soon as I post this blog, I will head to bed.

Today was amazing. Lauren and I went to Pearce Estate Park and spent 2 hours walking around, taking some incredible photos and just soaking up the beauty of autumn.

The most incredible part was that I didn't get winded through the whole walk, and I was climbing into the dried creeks over large rocks and up/down hills and I was fine! I was able to do it all. No hesitation!

I have to admit, things have improved a lot in the last 68lbs!

Of course the excitement doesn't end there...

We went to Walmart today and I needed a shirt to supplement my halloween costume. I don't know what motivated me to look, because I have never fit into Walmart clothes.. but today I picked up a couple of shirts that looked like they might fit (i figured if they didn't fit now, they would one day anyway) and tonight I slipped both over my head without undoing the button and they fit! Ok so a little snug but they fit!!!

I am loving life!

398!

Well, I am not sure if making this as a goal had anything to do with it but today is 66 days since surgery and I had a goal to be down 66 lbs+ by today. That 66 lb loss would put me at 400 lbs.

Well I am thrilled.. no, ecstatic to report that as of this morning I am 398lbs. 68 lbs down in the last 66 days!

I had a feeling today would be the day.

This weight loss thing, even after having surgery is very emotionally and psychologically challenging. I am going to need to get used to changes happening but as far as I am concerned, I am thrilled that the changes are all happening to improve my health.

I was watching the news last night and there was a report about a woman named Cheryl Harvey. She was 400lbs in May and had the gastric bypass (RNY). And the day before yesterday, she died. The news was vague about how and why she died. They said it was due to complications but it is scary that they didn't elaborate. Even though I had a different procedure, am 20 years younger than her and haven't had the same complications, it would still be nice to know what happened. She died 5 months after her surgery. That is terrifying that people can still die from complications that long after surgery. It was spooky too. She was on the news like me.. her story aimed to inspire and inform. She too said that she felt the benefits far out weighed the risks. And she died. I have said those things and done those things and while I have absolutely no intention of dying before I am 98, it just proves that we are not able to control our final outcome.

And I have to say that no matter what does happen to me between now and my 98th birthday, I have no regrets. We can't live our lives afraid to take risks for fear of the consequence. Those risks are what grow us, evolve us, teach us. Those risks keep us moving forward.

Anyway, that was a really long winded way of saying... I AM 398 BAYBEEE!!!! 68lbs GONE FOREVER!

Pia

2 Months...

Today is exactly my 2 month surgiversary.

I sit here tired and a little run down, but so amazingly far more energetic than I was this time 2 months ago and even moreso than 3, 4, 5 or 6 months ago.

The fact is, I have lost an astounding 39 inches combined from my: neck, arms, chest, waist, hips, thighs and calves. My chest and hips are down 9 inches each!

I know the weight is coming off, even though my scale is still teetering over 400. I got on the scale this morning and for 1 second, the scale read 400 before displaying ERR which means that I am close to the 400lb mark! It is ridiculous how impatient I am! I had surgery 2 months ago. 60 days! And I am getting frustrated that my scale hasn't gone below 400. A number I haven't been under in this decade! I never thought I would lose 40 or 50 lbs in a year much less in 2 months, and yet I am waiting anxiously for the scale to finally concede to a loss of 67 lbs to get me to 399.

I went through my "before" pics and I know now for sure that my 466 top weight at surgery wasn't actually my highest weight. I have older pics that clearly show that I was much heavier before!

I will be taking some progress pics this week and hopefully there will be a noticable difference. I am still debating whether or not to do the progress pics in the same bathing suit I had my initial pics taken in! I am thinking.. no.

And so, as I wait for the magic number 399, I continue to learn how different foods affect me, what foods I love and hate, and of course the always exciting new discoveries of things I can do now that I couldn't do before.

For example, at work we have office chairs that have arms on them. Before surgery, I was only able to balance my butt on the edge because I couldn't get my hips and thighs between the arms. Last week I sat in the chair and took a deep breath and slid my butt to the back of the chair and I fit! Ok so it wasn't roomy, but I was actually able to sit at the back of the chair!!!

Aside from the weight loss itself, I am noticing another change. I am beginning to notice that more and more people are coming to me to discuss weight issues, vent about weight loss attempts and overall just looking for support.

Of course I don't mind this at all, but then I wonder if I am ready or prepared to be that person for those people. I mean, I know I am losing weight but I am not an expert on weight loss.

Then again, I wonder if that is even what those people are looking for. Perhaps they are only looking for an ear. Perhaps they are looking for someone with similar experiences to vent to, or perhaps they are actually looking for inspiration. Don't get me wrong, 24 years of yo-yo dieting and working through the various medical health programs makes a person a certain kind of expert. I just refuse to make claim that I am something I'm really not.

I don't claim to be anything other than me. I am just Pia. If I can help someone else by being blatantly honest and open about my experiences, I am all for it. I think knowledge is power and I hope that others can learn from my experiences. I love to share my story of my struggles and accomplishments and I really do hope that others can take something... anything from my story and apply it to their own situations, even if is the most insignificant detail.

But in the end, the only reality is that I am here on this planet in power of only one person.. myself. I can only control what I experience and as much as I open myself up, exposing my raw material, those who seek out my knowledge have to take it and run with it, learn from it..

I have done the things I needed to do to get on the road to a healthy place. I researched, I investigated, I asked questions, I took action and it all comes down to survival. I really like being here. I love living and want to experience everything. I am selfish really, thats why I went for surgery. I was tired of the limitations my body had on me and I wanted to take control of my life. Be able to live to the fullest, because you never know how long you have.

Balance...

I went out for sushi last night. My first post-surgery sushi experience. I was nervous about how my tastebuds would react but I am thrilled to say that sushi was not only a complete success, but I was able to eat a lot more than I expected and it all tasted AMAZING!

Ok so granted we went to Kinjo and they just have amazing sushi, but I was amazed at how sensitive my tastebuds are and how delicious everything was! The raw salmon sashimi was cut so thick and it was so buttery I crave it still!

On the flip side I went out today and I had sushi again at lunch. We went to Sumo. It was ok but by far not as impressive as Kinjo. The salmon was so thinly sliced you had to fold it in half to get a good texture. It did taste good and fresh though so thats ok. I overdid it a bit today with soy nuts, I had a dumpling at lunch which didn't sit well and then at dinner, I had a glass of raspberry slushy and it was so sweet that it made my body revolt and I wasn't able to eat my dinner. I was so disappointed but moreso, it made me feel so horrible that I passed out when I got home and was just feeling ill.

I switched my vitamins this weekend as well. I was taking liquid vitamins but the liquid tasted horrible, I dreaded my 2 daily doses and for the past 2 days I just skipped taking them altogether. I think they were upsetting my stomach. Sooo today I bought liquid gel caps which are HUGE but were a lot better than the liquid shooters I was taking every morning. Plus I can save time and money from washing all those shot glasses I was using to dose out my vitamins ;)

On another positive note, since I started taking all these vitamins, my fingernails have been growing like weeds!!! They are also really strong!

So this weekend also included another amazing thing.. I got a new SUV! I bought a 2007 Mitsubishi Outlander. I am so surprised at how perfectly everything came together. I knew it was meant to be when I got into the drivers seat and buckled the seatbelt without an extender. My sentra required an extender and I can't tell you how much more room I have in the SUV and I know that I will be shrinking and it will be getting better and better. I got an SUV because I am thinking practically 5+years out. I want to go hiking and camping and fishing and trips to Home Depot and Ikea knowing I can fit what I buy in my vehicle.

So this weekend has so far been pretty good. Both ups and downs but overall pretty darn good!

Misunderstandings..

I was asked my opinion the other day about whether or not I felt obesity was a mental disorder.

Thinking back to that day, the article in the Herald and that question, I am still baffled that the medical community can even repeat the phrase "Obesity is a Mental Disorder". It irritates me knowing that there are people in this world that see obesity as an individual condition that should be as simple to manage as brushing your teeth.

I can't imagine anyone would argue with me if I said that Obesity is a side effect of one or more conditions (i.e. genetics, habit, disease, immobility, obsession, depression... etc..). This isn't a new concept. Obesity is just a fancy word used to say "really really fat". In reality though, this is exactly what is wrong with the perception of our health and bodies in society now.

I remember, from one of my numerous diet/exercise regimens I tried over the years, that I was told "Don't set your goals to 'lose weight', you will fail every time. Set your goal to be healthy, eat well, live a healthy lifestyle. You will still lose weight, but it will be a side effect of your new healthy attitude."

At the time, I thought 'yeah whatever'. Probably because I was jaded for having to go through it at all, or maybe it was at the tail end of one of my weight loss attempts and I had already given up.. but it still sat there in the back of my brain all these years just waiting to resurface.. and so it has.

Obesity is a result of something. It is caused by something and it is that "something" that needs to be identified and treated.

Unfortunately, during the process of becoming and staying obese, a lot of other "somethings" come up and become priority.

You may not realize it but Diabetes is one of the hardest things to manage while you are trying to lose weight. It is hard enough to lose weight right? But now add on medications that cause weight gain, low blood sugar attacks forcing you to the refrigerator to grab any sweet item in sight and wolf it down without taking the time to chew. During one of my 'low' points, I prayed to God that I would get Diabetes so that I would be "forced" to do something about my weight. I was in a bizarre depression with guilt and regret and I was willing to sell my pancreas to the devil to lose the weight. And so it was. Only a year later I was Diabetic.

Those other issues associated with Obesity commonly referred to as co-morbidities can get really serious. Aside from the obvious possible heart problems, liver problems can creep up, joint problems, skin problems and even memory loss. So we go to a liver specialist and take pills, go to physiotherapy and aquasize to manage the joint pain, buy expensive medicated lotions and scan infomercials for that one guy with the amazing ability to remember every name of every person he meets. I am sure his book and dvd were in the range of 99.99 in 3 equal installments. That should fix the memory issues....

That is treating Obesity. It is treating all the effects of "somethings" that creep up as a result of the excessive weight gain. Yet the root cause never gets discovered.

We float in our little inflated dingy, with a treasure chest of root causes at the bottom of our ocean, riding the waves hoping our problems wash up on shore.. but they never do.

People who aren't obese also have these hidden problems waiting to be uncovered but for whatever reason don't end up gaining weight. As a result they don't end up obese. Lucky for them I guess, unless they have other side effects - which they probably do.

All of this really just makes me realize more and more how critical it was that I have surgery. I have spent years looking for my root causes. Sure I had to work on treating the "somethings" along the way but I also tried to dig deep to find my cause. It wasn't until my "somethings" became their own threat with Diabetes and Hypothyroidism that I realized it was time to do something else.

With surgery I have taken an approach which directly impacts my root causes. Basic anatomy. Food goes in, pounds go on. So now, little food goes in, even less food absorbed and weight pours off. I may have some treasure chests at the bottom of my ocean still waiting to be discovered but rather than wait for that day, I have circumvented their impact on my health.

I hope that society stops treating Obese people like criminals and starts treating us/them like humans. We don't need labels or excuses, we don't need to be called failures and we certainly don't need to be called mentally ill. We just need someone who actually knows a damn thing or two about obesity that can help!

Maybe thats why surgery was so appealing. So far, the BPD-DS is the only tool that has proven effective for the long term in more than 99.9% of patients I have talked to.

Seriously, if I see "results not typical" on one more weight loss program, diet supplement or home gym infomercial, I may just go postal!

We're long past the day of "I'll believe whatever you tell me if you put a pretty shiny bow on it" we've moved into the "if you're going to talk the talk, you better walk the walk - Prove it!" era. And with that, I wish the medical community lots of luck!

In the mean time, I will remain open but cautious minded and I will continue to shed the pounds. For the first time I don't have anxiety that I will fail. Well, I do have anxiety that the surgery will fail, but almost every patient wonders if they will be the one that fails. That is what a lifetime of yo-yo diets and revolving door medically supported weight loss plans will do to a person.

When I am eventually at my normal weight, I will look back on these moments and wonder how I was able to be obese so long. I know I will be overwhelmed not knowing how I could possibly have endured 14 years of adult life in a body over 350lbs. And when that moment does arrive, I will hold compassion in my heart for those that will be buying my plus sized consignment clothes and offer my experience and wisdom to any who are thinking of surgery as an option... a tool, not a cure.

Little things..

I was grocery shopping in Safeway today.

I was recently asked about what it feels like to live life obese and in my answer, recalled some encounters with adults and being teased about my weight. But at that moment I forgot about the numerous encounters I have had with children.

I've been asked before if I was pregnant, I have been asked blatantly why I was so fat and today, a little girl commented to her mother that I have a really big tummy.

I shouldn't get upset with children when they make comments like these. In reality, they are being observant and just saying what is on their minds.

I smiled at her with honest sincere friendliness and as she passed, all I heard were those words.. "Mommy, she has a really big tummy".

Anyway.. back to real life stuff.

I am still not enjoying eating at all and I am still not under 400lbs. It is frustrating to have an expectation set that I could lose 30 lbs in 16 days and then wait another month and not lose 36 more. But then I sit back and think about it.. 30 lbs in 16 days is ridiculously fast! I am expecting to lose up to 200lbs in the next year. If I lose 30 lbs every 16 days I won't exist in a year.

So I am trying to see it all in a realistic light and realize that if I plan to lose 200lbs in a year, minus 30 which I lost in the first 16 days, I should average 4 lbs a week which is really only double the medically recommended amount. Not as drastic as it seems when you say 200lbs in a year. Seems impossible.

Thats another thing I am trying to get over. The impossible becoming possible. I still haven't seen enough change to really believe the weight is coming off as it should. Even though I am eating a fraction of the food I ate pre-op, I eat so often that I feel like I am eating a lot. Purely psychological.

I see pictures of other patients at a year post-op and see a night and day image. A new person barely recognizable as the "before" pic. And still, until it happens to me it will remain a dream.

I know I am starting to feel much much more normal now because I have started piling on the home improvement projects. I have the energy and motivation to tackle the house again which went away the last few months before surgery. I think I was feeling much more stress than I would allow myself to admit.

I was asked if I was nervous before surgery and in all honesty, I wasn't. I was ready, at peace with it all and the only stress I was feeling was related to the actual plane ride there and back.

Looking back though, I see that my stress was there. Maybe not concern about the procedure but about the gravity of the change I was about to undertake. I see it in the weight I gained pre-op, I see it in my dropped motivation and energy, I see it in my schooling being put aside, and I see it in the number of distractions I forced upon myself. Shopping was a bad one :P

I carry my tension in my shoulders and now that the adrenaline has settled, my life has begun to pulse at a normal rate and things are feeling more comfortable, all that tension has surfaced.. I can't wait till I can lay on my stomach and get a massage!

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but I also have to wear a binder. Every minute of every day for 3 months after surgery. A velcro fastened, white elastic girdle - sort of. It feels comforting for all of 30 seconds after putting on a freshly washed one.. until it slides down and settles into the cozy areas not currently occupied by love handles.

I have so many things to be excited about though. I am so looking forward to trying Tai Chi or Pilates. I don't want to get into running and in all honesty with the weight loss, I don't know how badly I will be wanting to get into a bathing suit and going swimming but I could see myself in a cute workout outfit getting my chi centered!

Oh and for the record, I am loving my new hair! It is so much easier to manage than my old straight hair!

Anyway, as usual I appreciate your interest in my story. Thanks for stopping by!

Food... a necessary evil.

I used to love food. Not for the act of eating or the way it made me feel, but for the social aspects it tends to pair well with.

Now, only a month and a bit out from surgery, I am beginning to think of food in a much different way. Not a good way. Not that old "Food as Fuel, Eat to Live" way but more like a "Get this crap outta my mouth!" way.

I swear a hundred dieticians just got goosebumps on their arms. Probably sensing that a fat girl out there somewhere just converted. Sorry folks, I never worshipped food like the stereotypes suggest I should have.

OK that was a bit harsh. A bit. But when you are limited to eating certain foods because everything else tastes off or the texture isn't appetizing or it hits my stomach like a rock, you start to become far more critical than you previously allowed yourself to be.

I love the idea of food now. I love the idea of cooking, but dread the point where I need to taste the dish to test seasoning. I love the idea of Barbeque (not just BBQ, BARBEQUE!). But even the old BBQ sauces I used to love taste terrible now.

Hunger pangs are frequent now. Painfully frequent. I used to get low blood sugar to signal hunger but now I just feel the grumbles of an empty stomach. Every hour and a half.

So with all that aside, I am pleased to have some progress to report. Although I can't determine an exact weight at the moment, I have lost a total of 28" cumulatively off my: Neck, upper arms, chest, waist, hips, thighs and calves. 8 inches from my hips alone.

So my plan of action is to focus on my vitamins, my protein, finding foods I am able to eat and watching the inches melt off!

Full steam ahead..

Today was a wonderful day. I was given a rare opportunity to spend some quality time with my sister Debbie, just the two of us.

We started the day at the salon. We both got a new hairdo and I think we both really needed that little reward.

Debbie and I also went to the office I was working at before surgery. I have made some fantastic relationships with people there and couldn't wait to see them again. I was also interested in knowing what was happening with my job and whether or not I would be brought back to work there.

Debbie was so sweet and patient while I was catching up with everyone. I appreciated that she just let me do my thing. We also had lunch together which was nice.

After picking Michael up at his grandparents place, I dropped them off at home and went shopping. I bought a juicer! I am SO excited about this!

Ok so it doesn't take much to get me excited but I am really excited about this!! I juiced apples and pears today. Amazing how yummy they were and this juicer is POW-ER-FUL! lol.

I think the most bizarre part of the day was being stalked and stared at by my cat Faith. She couldn't keep her eyes off my new hair and her nose was sniffing me like crazy.

Normal...

Each day I am back in the world of normal with my family, friends and kitties, I appreciate more and more what I have around me. Tonight I enjoyed a bit of time out in the back yard having a fire and enjoying the night air.

I went to the health food store today and bought all my vitamins and supplements. It's a little intimidating. I want to make sure I get the right dosages without breaking the bank and I want to make sure that I can actually stomach them. I guess I will see in the morning.

The one thing I still can't get to sink in is that I am losing the weight and aside from not taking my supplements, I can't screw this one up. People who think of other weight loss surgeries don't realize it, but this particular surgery is virtually fool proof as far as weight loss goes.

And now that my ultimate goal has been accomplished, I need to start making new goals and challenging myself in other ways. The weight loss will be happening still, as I go about my life and I will find new and interesting things to do along the way.

I have a bit of anxiety about a few things though..

Depression is common as the weight comes off... the rapid weight loss can do that..

Hair loss is also common.. although temporary, it happens..

and of course the clothes.. as I lose weight, I will be shrinking out of the clothes I own and I will use my sewing machine as much as possible but I can't do that forever.

So these things will sit there in the back of my mind as I figure out how to deal with them if and when they happen.. but all in all I think that things will be amazing and interesting and an adventure.

Time flies.. and so did I

I can't believe it has been so long since my last post. I am home already and while so much has happened in the past 8 days, I feel like I posted that last entry just yesterday.

I've been recovering really well so far and my teeth are nice now which makes me extremely happy. I finally accomplished a goal that I have been working on for 6 years and within the next two years, I will reach my goal weight and then finally accomplish a goal I have had since I can remember.

One of my favourite things about Brasil was the people. Not only the Brazillians but also the North Americans I met while down there. It is incredible how the support and encouragement you recieve from complete strangers can make them feel like a family away from home.

I had a lot of anxiety about the trip back. I thought about it every day and it was one of the first things on my mind when I woke up and the last thing on my mind when I went to bed. I hate flying and I know that now better than ever!

We spent the last week in Brasil finishing up some sightseeing but mostly shopping and getting all the souvenirs to bring home. Ana was amazing and I really enjoyed spending time with her learning about the city.

We had our laundry done before we left as well and even though it wasn't as nicely done as the previous place we used, it was nice to know we could go home and have clean clothes.

I also enjoyed spending some time with Tanya before I left and meeting her sister. Such a sweetie!

So the trip home was definitely stressful. We were dropped off at the airport very early and we quickly discovered that our plane was almost an hour late. We had a bite to eat in the food court (I managed to find a neutral grilled cheese type sandwich) and went to check in for the plane. Sitting behind security was a lot nicer than being in the main airport area.

I think we ended up waiting 3 hours or so but we finally boarded and took the trip to Sao Paulo. Although I didn't want to use the wheelchair service, after seeing the lineup at the American Airlines counter at GRU, I decided that the wheelchair would be a necessary move, so we went to the AA office and they quickly had a wheelchair and attendant there for me.

By using the wheelchair we bypassed the line and were able to check in very quickly. The wheelchair attendant also got us through security faster and took me all the way to the gate.
We decided to go to duty free where I ended up using all my Brazillian money (not realizing the food places only took Reais :/) Alecia was nice enough to do the running around and got us some water and crackers for the few Reais we had left.

At duty free we bought cigarettes and alcohol which we carried on the plane with us.

The flight to New York was long. Long and exhausting and although I managed to get some sleep in, I was annoyed by the food. I had booked a diabetic meal which would have been ideal but somehow at last minute it was changed to vegetarian which would not have worked for me. The only thing they could do was switch me to Kosher which was ok but left me with a lot of wasted food I couldn't eat. I ended up snacking on crackers the rest of the way. I was lucky though, the Kosher meal gave me an omelete for breakfast which was a lot more appropriate than the regular breakfast meal.

We got to JFK on time or even a little early and I took full advantage of the wheelchair. As a result, we got through immigration, customs and everything while being at the front of the line. We checked in with Air Canada and that was by far the worst customer service ever! That lady was not nice!

When we finally went through security to head to our gate, we ended up losing our alcohol we bought at duty free in Sao Paulo not realizing that even though it was still sealed, they wouldn't allow it. Alecia tried to get it checked but again the service at Air Canada sucked. They said the luggage was already on board. Ironic since we ended up with half of our luggage delayed for 2 days.

I have to say that spending as much time at JFK airport as I have makes me extremely happy and proud to be Canadian!

We made it to the gate with only 20 mins to spare before takeoff and although the plane ended up leaving New York late, we were relieved that we made the flight.

The flight from NYC to Calgary was what solidified the fact that I HATE to fly. The trip was only supposed to be 4 hours and a bit, but it felt longer than the 9 hour flight! The turbulence got so bad at one point that the plane dropped about a foot straight down and that was terrifying. A teenager in the back started screaming and people started to get that look in their eyes.. you know when someone looks to you with this fear of death searching for reassurance that today was not the day they were going to die. I wish I could say I didn't have that look myself. That turbulence was the worst I have ever experienced!

But we made it to Calgary only a little late. Aside from the lost luggage, the trip home was far better than the trip to Brazil and a relief for sure.

As much as I was worried my Laptop was lost forever, I am just thankful I made it home safe.

So this week I am relaxing, catching up with my kitties and getting back to normal life. I am learning about my new digestive system every time I eat and I have realized that my tastes have changed. I don't really enjoy eating anymore and almost get annoyed when the hunger starts to set in. I haven't gotten my vitamins yet so that is on my list of priorities but I certainly have a lot to do. I have money to get back from American Airlines, I have damaged luggage and I have some travel insurance to claim.

And then, I get to dig into my garden and do some weeding and get back to normal. I can't wait for the normal to finally settle in.

So thats it for now. I think I am caught up!

The day off...

It is Saturday and for most of us, a day of rest. Ana has the day off today as she does every week and so I will take this day as well to prepare for the Flea Market tomorrow and the Train tour on Monday.

I've been to the dentist twice now. One more appointment to go next week.. but we have been trying to take advantage of already being out and seeing the sights. We went to see the Opera House a couple of days ago after the dentist and I was so amazed at how beautiful it was. The design was incredible and the waterfall nearby made it so peaceful. It is tucked away in this vast city and as soon as you step onto the steel grate bridge, you step into a whole other place.

I have seen my share of beauty in my life and yet it seems like each time, things are more and more beautiful.

We've decided to skip the Botanical Gardens and hopefully see it in pictures others have taken. We have other things we want to accomplish while we're here and I want to make sure I am not over doing it with my incision. It has been redder than usual the past couple of days and I have woken up more sore.

I can feel I am losing weight. I can see it in my face and my hips are starting to feel out of joint somewhat.. I know that happens with weight loss sometimes. It is amazing though because before I got here, my feet hurt daily, my knees were sore constantly and then suddenly here they all stopped hurting. Amazing.

So we spent most of yesterday in the hotel. We waited for our laundry to be delivered and then at about 4pm we decided to go shopping.

It is kind of weird because there seems to be a little bit of posessiveness with Ana. We all love her and want her time and she manages to juggle us all but it is kind of funny.. you see that look you get when someone hears Ana is taking you out somewhere and then it is confirmed when she takes them the exact same place the next day ;)

We went to a Brasil souvenir store and I spent a lot of time and money getting souvenirs and gifts for everyone including myself and poor Ana was stuck outside waiting for us while we watched the cashier hand write each item on the receipt and gift wrap them and bubble wrap them. It was so time consuming and while the service was outstanding, we did make Ana late for picking up the next group. Well part of that was traffic too. Rush hour here is so dense and reminds me of the drive to work in the morning ;)

After the Brasil store we had Ana bring us to WalMart where we wanted to pick up some personal products and juice. She told us about a new shampoo/conditioner called Chocolate. It smelled so good we both bought 2 sets. I also picked up some Brasilian coffee and chocolate to bring home.

So it was a great afternoon and we didn't get back to the hotel until after 7. Alecia ran the purchases up to the room and I went and got us a table at the restaurant downstairs. I had 1/2 an Omelete. It was good but a bit dry. I wouldn't recommend that without some sort of sauce.

Tomorrow we are attending the Flea Market which is supposed to be HUGE and packed with people. I will be keeping a keen eye out for some unique things I can bring back and I will be taking as many pictures as I can! I hope the weather is good for us!

Although Alecia and I planned to go together just to two of us, I think everyone is going so I am sure we will end up seeing eachother there.

And tonight, I believe Catherine wants to go for BBQ and so that could end up being the plan. So even if I don't get to enjoy BBQ yet another time, I will probably go to watch and soak up the atmosphere.

Brasil..

I find myself frustrated mainly with myself and with Alecia. I know we could be appreciating things more. We could be enjoying ourselves more. Reaching out to the culture more.

Part of the reason I originally wanted to travel alone was because I know that I am a positive person and I can make the best of any situation and even though I had a miserable flight in (and misery loves company), being here would be different in a good way if I was alone.. I like to live within myself.. reflect and think... when I travel with someone else, I find my focus is always on that person first..

Don't take that the wrong way, I would never recommend anyone travel here for surgery alone if they could have a companion, I just think that someday I would like to take a trip by myself...
Today was a day of rest for me. I pretty much stayed in the hotel all day with the exception of lunch at the hotel restaurant, visiting with Gerald and Sandy before their flight out and a 5pm grocery shopping trip. After realizing that I forgot to buy fruit juice, we strolled up and down the block but didn't find any shops that had anything suitable.

Yesterday, however was a little more adventurous. Ana took me and Alecia to the dentist (Her cousin's clinic) to get my teeth whitened. Although the experience was fairly mild and Ana's cousin was sooo nice, it was really hard on my incision to be tilted so far back for so long. I am not looking forward to that part of the visit tomorrow.

So after the dentist, I asked Ana to take us to the TV/Radio Tower which has a 360 degree view of Curitiba. It only cost us $3 Reais (about $1.75 CDN) per person to take the elevator to the top. Ana rode for free because she was acting as a tour guide. She must be sick of all those places lol. She also showed us her house which is just around the corner from the tower.

While up in the tower, we were approached by a reporter and photographer who wanted to interview tourists about the sights of Curitiba. He asked us about the places we had been, where we were from, our professions, names and then had his photographer take a few photos. In the end it was exciting to be approached by a reporter but it was also cool that he worked for the Curitiba government and had the story with our picture on the front page of the website within a few hours! I didn't mention the surgery of course but the article ended up having our names, saying that we were sisters in Curitiba for 2 weeks on Vacation and that "We have seen more places we want to visit now that we have seen this view". He made up the quote and didn't have all the correct info but I'll forgive him since it was far more interesting than any answers we gave ;P

People here don't look as exotic as I expected. Don't take that wrong.. I expected to see a culture of people that were vastly different from the people I am surrounded by at home and in all honesty, we could blend in here as locals (minus the camera necklace & English tongue).

There is a difference, though deeper within the culture. The food, the family, habits, work ethic, environmental consciousness, the love for other people.. that one warms my heart..

As in any foreign place, you put your guard up.. and rightfully so, the native folk do as well.. to a degree. Who am I to come here and speak English and ask them to accommodate me. I am sure there are cultural rules broken here everyday by me and the other Canadians/Americans but not intentionally of course.

That wall of protection with the unknown though is transparent. I can see through it and watch them interract with their own kind and see the comfort, warmth, care & detail.. (unless we're talking about driving but that is another story).

I love to see them greet eachother confidently with bom dia (good morning) and other phrases that for some reason didn't make it into my phrase book. They finish every transaction, even the simplest of them with a hearty "Obrigado/Obrigada!" ("thank you") and for those that have closer interraction, a warm kiss on the cheek and gentle hug.

Those that have befriended me such as Vera, Dr. Marchesini, Dr. Georgio (aka Dr. Gorgeous) and even the dentist (Audrey) all treat me to the kiss on the cheek and hug. Makes me feel welcome and invited.. something I was definitely missing when I was in New York and something that I think we could do better to offer in Canada. Ok so we don't have to kiss/hug everyone, but greeting the people we interract with and genuinely thanking them afterwards is something we could all do more often.

I was also happy to see that even the poor and homeless here are working. Whether it be selling merchandise at traffic lights, collecting trash to recycle or hand crafting, they seem to want to work as much as they need to work - that could be a misled observation on my part but it is my true observation.

The housing here in contrast to what we have in Canada is drastically different as well which speaks directly to the culture they have here. The rich and poor living on the same level to a degree but then go home to either run down wooden shacks or mansion style homes with a pool and a well groomed dog. You can drive for 5 minutes and see housing for all class levels, unlike Calgary where we have our classes distinctly separated by community entranceway signs and the aroma of arrogance to accompany it.

I am not saying they don't have an elite housing area here, they do. They have posh condos downtown that are dream homes for most residents, gated communities and mansions that are tucked away in the hills but they come together with commonalities like the garbage collectors who walk the streets at night collecting the trash of all residents regardless of income. It's not slave labour either. It is an honest living which I think is wonderful.

Although I don't get to enjoy much of the food, it is evident as well that they take pride in the food they prepare and serve here. I haven't had the opportunity to compare a Chinese or Japanese restaurant here to what we have back home. I would be interested in seeing any similarities or differences. Perhaps next time... Plastics ;)

So I have blogged the night away and the day comes early tomorrow. dentists and all that..

Thanks for reading.

The next step...

Now that I am out of the hospital, I feel much more free, a lot healthier and a lot more normal.
Every day I feel better. I overdid it a bit yesterday so I am a little sore today but I am not taking any pain medication so it can't be that bad.

My first couple days back at the hotel have been really good. I haven't been having many problems, I have been joining Alecia and all the others for dinners (even though I just have a drink) but we also went grocery shopping yesterday so I now have some provisions in my room that I can eat.

My only big issues with the room were more around the actual room. The first room we were put in when we got back to the hotel was 401 I think.. and the shower didn't have a handheld feature which newly post op is really important for me. The second room we were put in was 103 and I couldn't even fit through the shower door!!! I eventually requested we move to 206 which I already knew from presurgery was a room I liked and a bathroom that was suitable.

You really do need to make sure to really know what you need and have it, especially when it comes to the bathroom! Newly postop is not the time to be suffering with less than you need.

Alecia wanted to see WalMart so that is where we ended up getting groceries. I was sore and had trouble standing for long periods of time so the taxi driver Ana helped me pick out the right foods and put them into the cart. She put them onto the conveyor and bagged them for me as well! She was so helpful and sweet.

Afterwards we were going to go to Angelinis which is another grocery store but since we managed to pick enough up at Walmart, I decided against it. Instead, Ana agreed to take Alecia and me on a taxi tour of some parts of the city (mainly the Italian section). We went to the cemetery where all the burials are above ground in crypts. We went through a beautiful park where we saw the Capivari which is a huge rodent (similar in appearance to a beaver but without the tail). They reminded me a bit of Loki (my cat) but they of course were muuuuch bigger. (about the size of a warthog?) They are protected so they can't be hunted or harmed.

After a bit more driving around, we came back to the hotel and Ana arranged for the groceries to be brought to the room on the luggage cart. Alecia quickly put them away and I had one of the best tasting fat free/sugar free chocolate puddings in the world!!!!!!!!!

So today is the 30th and I am 6 days post-op. I am eating mainly juices, pudding, yogurt, jello and broth.. but I also have 10 fresh eggs in the fridge... soon, I will be cracking an egg into my soup or soft boiling it :)

Thank goodness we have a stove in the room!

So today will be a day to stick around at the hotel. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow early and Vera will be here soon to check on me so today I will relax and recoup..

days 1 - 5

So we arrived in Curitiba safe and sound. The first night was hard for me. I felt completely overwhelmed and although Michelle (Kevin's wife) was there to greet me when we got to the hotel, it felt really lonely. We were tired but I had this incredible urge to move and go places.. but then I broke down and cried for a bit before taking a much needed rest. I slept on the couch too which was weird. I just wasn't feeling myself.

Afterwards, Dr. M arrived at the hotel and then I felt much better.. much calmer and a lot more confident that I was where I was supposed to be.. in life... not just the hotel.

The flight just messed me up!

Alecia and I grabbed a bite at the little restaurant in the hotel earlier that night. It felt so foreign.. our plates were weighed and it was the tail end of their lunch buffet so things weren't the best. It may also have been our taste buds.

When Dr. M showed up I asked about places to eat. He said most places close up on Sunday nights but that he would show us a place nearby called Leili's. But as we got to the lobby, we were greeted by Kevin and Michelle and Nicole and Karen and Evelyn. They were having an early day the next day so we all agreed to eat at the place right in the hotel. I am glad I did, I had the best filet mignon with rice and mushroom gravy!!! It was superb! And we had watermelon juice as well!

So that night we just went back to the hotel room and relaxed and planned out the next day. My appointment with Dr. M was at 10, so Durval met us at the hotel lobby for 9:45. We had enough time to grab our free breakfast and we were whisked off to Dr. M's office.

His office was nice! Sharp! Very high end. What you would expect from a private surgeon but not what you'd see at the dr's offices in Canada!


We sat down, talked about the surgery and then he gave me a quick exam in the little exam room connected to his office.

He explained everything and then we exchanged money. I was thankful to be able to save some cash by using visa for some of the fees!

Then from there, Durval escorted us out.. he has been so sweet but not overbearing at all!

We decided we wanted to see some of the shops so he called Ana for us and we went to the leather store and the stone store before Ana dropped us off for a few hours on Flower street.

We loved the leather and stone stores. So inexpensive!!!

We went into a costume/party supply store and I found a few treats to bring home. The owner was nice but his english was minimal but he managed to tell us to come back soon.

From there we were on the hunt for a lunch place and although the shops were plentiful, the places to eat were minimal so we ended up at an Arabian restaurant. We were so close to leaving there and this guy comes up and convinces us to give it a try. It was ok though because it was better than him escorting us to the basement to another restaurant I really didn't need to see ;)

So we finished browsing some touristy places and then went back to the spot that Ana had agreed to meet us at to wait. We didn't have a watch so we had to keep checking in the gift shops to see the time.

Ana took us back to the hospital where we waited for Kevin, Nicole and their families and Gerald of course.. Most of them had been on the rail tour that day and we arranged to meet them for my last supper.. Brazillian seafood.

Time goes by so strangely here. It gets dark so early and time goes by so slow!!! Or at least thats the way it has seemed so far.

I had to quit eating at 10pm and it was already after 8 so I was getting anxious.

SO we had fun at the restaurant although I have to say that I make better seafood!!! It was both service and buffet so that was fun.

So afterwards I went back to the hotel and tried to use the bank machines to take out money but the bank card wouldn't work. Luckilly Karen offered to spot me $60 Reais.

So that was it for me pre-op. The next morning, we were picked up and taken to the hospital.

We were shown to my room and ALecia and I had really nothing to do but sleep... so we did and then suddenly someone showed up, pointed to the gown, I threw it on and away I went to surgery.

The ride to surgery was odd.. noisy, bumpy... When we got into the pre-op room, Dr. M's Son (surgical assistant) was there to greet me. they explained the process of the epidural and the anaesthetic and as soon as they got the IV in, I was being sat up and the IV was being inserted.

So the next thing I remember them putting oxygen on me and I was out.. then suddenly I was waking up vomiting something or other and yelling Paaaaaaaaaaaain!

They recognized the word for pain and responded every time :P

So after a little while in recovery, they had me back in my room unwrapping my legs and oh man I felt like craaaaaaaaaaaap.

It has been 3 days since surgery and each 24 hour period I felt 10000% better and today for the first time I got to eat liquids which made me happy!!!


I think that brings me up to date.. and now I will sit back and enjoy a cup of tea!